Enter the debaters and critics. Immediately everyone runs to point fingers. "It's because of guns. We need gun control." "It's because of health care system is dysfunctional and doesn't help those with mental illness get the help they need." "It's because of poor parenting." "It's because of lack of security in schools." And on. And on. And on.
One of the first reactions from many schools was limiting access to the school - to parents. Let's look at this for a minute. A parent sends his or her son to a building filled with other children and a handful of staff every day for 6-7 hours a day, 5 days a week. The parent is not allowed into the building, can't tell you what his child's class looks like, doesn't know where in the classroom his child sits, can't tell you anything about the child's teacher or his/her style of teaching, and doesn't know what the child is being taught, told, exposed to or witnessing up to 35 hours a week. Anyone think maybe that could be a problem???
I can vividly remember parents in my elementary school. They came to help with class projects and field trips. They were there on field day. They were there for birthdays and holidays. They were there checking with the teacher to see if she needed anything or if their child was behaving. They were very visible in our school. Kids behaved. Why? Because if their parent wasn't there, someone else's parent was - and our parents actually communicated back then. Every parent helped look out for every child in that class - and in the school. They helped control behavior, they helped kids work out problems, they helped clean up spills and tidy up desks, they took kids to the office for a Band-Aid or stomach ache, they helped kids learn and grow - they were there and an instrumental part in the child's education. We had less problems - even in a very volatile neighborhood - because we had a huge parent presence in and around the school. People in the neighborhood saw large amounts of adults - parents, teachers and administrators - surrounding the kids at all times.
Let's go back to guns. The same week as the shooting in the CT school there was another shooting in a mall. The gunman aimed to kill as many as possible, but a good guy with a gun stopped him before he could kill more than 2. Guns don't kill people. Evil people kill people.
Mental health? This is actually a very good reason that needs to be addressed. It's not the only reason or problem, but it is definitely a contributing factor. Having worked for a couple of years in an in-patient psychiatric hospital, and for several other years with special needs and at-risk youth, I've seen firsthand how inadequate mental health care in America is. How do we fix it? I don't know. But it needs to be looked at.
Poor parenting? Maybe. Maybe not. A parent cannot control every single thing their child does. Nor can they anticipate the child they gave birth to ever growing up to do something so horrific. If parenting is the problem, why aren't we helping new parents more? Why aren't there more resources out there and readily available for moms and dads who need a hand?
There is no one reason for anything like the Newtown shooting. Incidents like this happen for a combination of reasons and typically have many factors involved.
What are the solutions and answers to these events? Like the reasons, there needs to be a variety of solutions and answers. Get parents back into the schools and involved. Stop blaming and pointing fingers and be part of the solution. Provide better mental health care and parenting resources. Instead of limiting guns and keeping them from people, let them be used to stop these evil people. Put security in school to keep those not affiliated with the school away.
You cannot possibly stop every incident from happening. It is impossible to dream up every possible scenario and make a plan to stop it. It's just not going to happen. Overreacting and putting rules and laws into place are not going to stop the problem - and could actually make the problems worse. Simply get more involved and more alert. See something - say something. Be proactive. Surround our kids with attentive, loving, caring and trustworthy adults who give them a sense of protection and structure. It truly does take a village to raise a child. BE a villager. BE actively involved. Surround the kids and communities with GOOD.
****I've already been asked why I didn't put God into this discussion. Trust me - I want to. I think He is the ONLY answer to all of the questions and problems and concerns. However, that's another point for another blog.****
