They're killing our kids...

In the past week I've heard the following news stories:

* baby found after ballgame in stadium toilet - clings to life at local hospital
* toddler beaten to death for refusing to say his ABCs
* child dies after being thrown from building in fit of anger by father
* baby dies at hands of teen mom and her boyfriend
* baby whose mother strapped him in front of fire for three days died after social services missed 17 chances to save him
* toddler dies after father threw him on a bed as punishment for playing near an electrical socket; head hit a dresser or wall

And then saw the video from Nick Cannon entitled "Mommy Can I Live?".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdOCwd9EttE

It seems I've been assaulted lately with story after story of parents either abandoning their child or worse - abusing them, torturing them or murdering them. I look at my three beautiful blessings from God and wonder HOW?! How can anyone harm a child? How can someone even walk away from a child? Just leave them? How can someone give birth to a baby and possibly hate him or her? Then I remember... my parents did the same thing. They walked away.

I was unplanned. A mistake. My father - whoever he is - left before he even knew my mother was expecting me. I'm not sure if he ever did know he created a child. My mother - well - she wanted to be the teenager that she was and enjoy life. She already had one child. Another one was just too much to ask of her. So she left me with her parents and went to live her life. Without me. Then without my brother. She left him with her parents too. Her parents eventually adopted both my brother and I. Was it the best thing for us? Maybe. I can tell you this much - it was a MUCH better option than aborting me, deserting me with people she didn't know or in a random location, or beating me to death. I guess I should be thankful that she chose to leave us with people she thought we'd be safe with. Were they perfect? Not by far. Were we still subject to situations no child should ever have to face? Yes. Do I hate her for what she did? No. But I can't pretend to understand how she could hold me as a tiny newborn baby and wish I'd never been born. I can't understand how she could feel my fingers gripping her collar or her hair and despise me. I can't understand how she could hear my newborn cries and not feel a stirring in her heart. I sometimes look at my children and just want to sit and cry. I can't imagine ever feeling anything but total love and devotion to these little parts of me. I can't imagine ever walking away without looking back. I can't imagine anything in life worth having or doing without them by my side.

It took me a long time to reach a place of forgiveness. Forgiveness for my mother for abandoning me and leaving me with someone who would hurt me time and time again. Forgiveness for my father for not being there or caring that he'd created me. Forgiveness for my grandparents for taking their frustrations about their daughter's mistakes out on her kids. Forgiveness for those who had a chance to help and didn't. Forgiveness for those who chose to look the other way. These news reports bring up the heartache often and I know I'm a lot more sensitive to the stories than most people. But the heartache caused by these stories reminds me that I've chosen a higher road. A road of love and forgiveness. I've chosen to shower my children with love and affection, positive encouragement and good morals and values. I chose to break the cycle of abuse. Each and every day I look my past in the face and turn away, refusing to think for a minute that any part of that is the right way. I used to live in fear of being just like my mother or my mother's parents. I was terrified I'd end up being just like them as a parent. I was petrified that I may one day harm a child of my own. Thankfully I knew from the second I found out I was having the boys, that I could never harm them or put them in a position for someone else to harm them. I know that God rescued not just me, but each of my children and future grandchildren as well. Every day I thank God for breaking the cycle with me - for giving me a new heart capable only of loving and giving. Every day I thank Him for keeping my children safe and giving me the ability to love them unconditionally, even though I'd never experienced unconditional love myself.

There are children in this world who are hurting. They are living every day in fear, in pain, in turmoil and without love. They are longing for a hug, for someone to care and for someone to reach out. You may not be able to save them from their life of chaos - but you can give them hope. Take the time to encourage a child. Smile at him. Give her a hug. You could be the one person who gives that child hope that there are good people in the world and that one day they can be the change their family needs. You can be the one person who gives that child the hope and will to survive. I can point out every single person who ever gave me hope. I can tell you which adults made a difference and gave me the determination to survive and be better than my past. BE that hope for a child. Show them they are loved. There are kids who are downright adorable and easy to love. Then there are others who aren't as cute, who behave horrendously, or who won't let you close enough to touch. The most difficult ones to love are often the ones who need it the most. You never know which type of child you are dealing with. Show EVERY child you meet God's love. That child will be an adult one day. These children will grow up and be leaders. They are our future society. Help make the future a place of hope and love. Let's change this cycle of child neglect, abuse and murder.