Speed Bumps

You may have noticed I haven't posted about a run this week. Well...

Apparently last Saturday's awful-feeling run was trying to tell me something. My body is not happy.

After Saturday's run, I nursed some sore muscles and took Sunday to fully rest. Monday, I set out on 2.5 miles with little problem. In fact, it was one of my faster 2.5 miles and I only walked twice for less than 30 seconds each - at the crest of the hill I went up twice.

12:02, 12:22, 6:24 - total of 30:48. It was fine.

Until I got home. As I slowed to a walk and stretched, I had spasms in my back. I stretched and dealt with it - but I've noticed that the pain comes when I am going faster (harder impact) and when I've run up hills. I'm not intentionally trying to speed up. It’s just that running more/walking less has increased my pace a lot on its own. But the problem is - when I’m going this faster pace (from running more) it’s causing a lot more aches and pains, especially in my back. I’ve been comfortable to slightly challenged with the pace in terms of lung capacity and endurance. But when I naturally speed up on level and downhill stretches, I’m feeling a lot more impact. I’ve tried holding back even more on these stretches, knowing that I tend to go faster there, but it hurts my back even more to hold back. I don’t feel like I’m speeding up or notice the faster pace - in fact, I feel like I’m crawling and going slower than 13 most of the time. When trying to hold back and think I’m slowing down to get closer to 13, I still end up near 12-12:30. When I don’t try to hold back and just go, I’m still close to 12-12:30. I get into a minimal effort groove and feel like I’m consistently there when there is no major change in incline. This also varies based on the day lately. Saturday took all-out effort to even go 13, but there was more walking too, and way more variation in incline. The increase in amount of running with no walk intervals is new to me, and is taking a bit of a toll. I’ve never run straight through any run until this past month (usually lungs or nerve pain prevented it). I’ve also never had so much back pain while running as I’ve had in the past two weeks. I've been feeling like I need to strengthen core muscles more to prevent this. I’m just really sore, especially my back. Saturday hurt worse than the half I did in Oct 2017 - but it was also the first time this month that I experienced severe nerve pain while running and was also the first time I tried to run up a huge hill. When I looked back on Monday's run, I had hit a hill twice in that route that I normally run down instead of up. If I go with more hills/inclines, or the steep hill Saturday, that seems to be when the back hurts the most, making me feel like my form is off and the core strength just isn’t there. I feel like I could easily go 5-6 miles running at a 12-12:30 pace right now, if I didn’t have any uphill inclines the entire time, which is never going to happen. So since I can’t run without encountering hills, and hills are hurting my back, I think I need to work on it. And since running more/walking less has made my pace faster, even more so on level and downhill slopes, and it’s making me more sore, especially my back, I think my core needs work.

Along with this came the inevitable, "Don't tell coach or he'll take away miles or runs" - And that’s exactly why I hadn’t really said anything... I don’t want him to pull the extra mile or change what we’re doing.  I told him this but then followed it with - "That being said, you are the coach, and know what you’re doing, so while I may balk and protest, 99% of the time I will listen and comply." I am a planner and get my schedule/routine in my head for several days ahead of time to prep myself for it and feel out how I’m doing medically as I go. I knew going into Saturday that I was making my route harder and probably wasn’t ready for it, but I also knew I was getting bored with my normal route and needed a change-up. As much as I hated it, it helped me pinpoint when and where the soreness was coming from, and helped me figure out when and where things started feeling off. I had already figured on Wednesday’s mile being a simple out and back on Herron, where it’s almost completely level, thus avoiding hills and anything that was gong to create heavy impact. However, I also already bailed on volleyball Tuesday night to give my back an extra day to recover from yesterday. I’m not broken yet, and won’t let it get bad enough to feel that way, but I also don’t want to stop or change things. When things are going well on the run, 2-3 miles is easy, but I don’t think I’m doing enough between runs to help keep it that way. I also had a time crunch and several things going on yesterday when I tried to squeeze my run in, so I didn’t spend as much time on the warmup as I probably should have. Lesson learned the hard way on that one.

Wednesday, I went ahead with the 1 mile run as scheduled and as I had planned. Daniel went with me. He immediately dubbed it the "Sloth Run" as it was so hard to go so slow. We completed the mile in 12:45 (of the planned 14:00). We felt as if we were shuffling so slow that if we attempted to go any slower, we'd no longer be moving forward. It was such an easy run.

And then Thursday happened...

Plan was 2.5 miles. Steady pace around 12:15. Run as much as possible with walking as needed.

Ya'll... I had to bail out on a run. :(

I had to stop running at 1.6. I have double inner ear infections (from sinuses) and started feeling pain in my back on the right side near my kidneys. I didn't want to chance it. I felt fine walking and tried to run again when I started feeling better, but I got the same pain almost immediately so just walked. No pain walking. I ended up going 2.67 miles - walking a mile of it - but I felt awful. The funniest part was - mile 1 was a piece of cake - it was just fine - and was a 12:03 mile. Awesome. Even with walking 1 of the 2.67 miles - my average pace was a 14:38.

However, since Thursday, I have been benched. No running. No working out. No weights. Nothing but rest. It has stunk. Big time. I keep getting told it's just a speed bump to slow me down a bit and regroup, but I hate it. Plus, the rest is not helping the back pain go away - at all. If anything, resting has made it worse. Sometimes I really hate having medical issues and wish my body would just function normally. I just want to be able to run and to enjoy running pain free.

Tomorrow, the plan is to attempt 2.5 again. Today, I plan to stretch like crazy and maybe even get on the elliptical for a very slow mile just to move the running muscles some before going back out tomorrow. I'm almost tempted just to tell myself I'm only doing a mile tomorrow, so that I can wait and decide after that mile if I feel like I can move forward or not.

The best part of this entire ordeal - I had to take Friday off - but then Knox County closed until Thursday - so I have almost an entire week off work to recover and heal. Hopefully the sinuses, ear infections and kidney issues will simmer down in that time and I'll be back to the routine soon.

Until then, struggling to stay positive about the upcoming race season and hoping for the best.

Self Defeat

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I had a really awful run. I was bored with my normal route, so decided to change it up a bit. I had no idea what I was getting into.

It started out fine. I left my house feeling ready. I got 1/2 a mile down the road and then my watch decided to let me know it hadn't started. The frustration over the fact that I had just done a really smooth, consistent 1/2 a mile that wouldn't count for anything was the first jab. I quickly got over it and convinced myself I could just explain and fix it later. Kept going. Felt okay. Wasn't the best but I thought if I could just get to the new connection I was heading towards running, I could take a walk break there. That would put me about a mile and a half in.

I made the first turn out of the neighborhood and just felt it was not going to be a great run. I decided to take a walk interval so I could last the rest of the 3 miles. So I walked a minute, then right back into the groove. My first mile was 12:36. Well, technically my first 1.5 miles was in 16:55. But since the first 1/2 mile didn't count.... the first mile my watched actually measured was 12:36. Exactly where I was supposed to be.

Only, I wasn't feeling great. I wasn't getting into a smooth groove. So I took another walk interval. I started hearing myself beating myself up. The negative talk kept coming. I started telling myself "it's fine - GO" "You're FINE" "It's okay - do what you can" - but it was tough.

Second turn from the next neighborhood to turn into the 3rd neighborhood. Uh oh. That was a monster hill. I psyched myself up and promised a walk break at the top. Only I could only see the first half of the hill when I thought that. I made it up the first half and with a sob, slowed to a walk. I literally crawled up the rest of that steep devil.  I was near tears by the time I reached the top. If this was any indication of how the Anthem 10K was going to go, climbing up Mill Mountain, I was in deep trouble. That hill kicked my butt. Big time. I couldn't even start running again when I reached the top and turned onto the street. It took a while before I felt like I could go again. The entire time the negative thoughts were engaged in an all-out battle with the forced positive ones.

I knew a downhill was coming and willed myself to just start jogging slow. I managed to get into a smoother run. I made it down to the next turn and turned onto the block I'd been running for weeks. But I was still near tears. Two miles hit. It was a 13:27. Honestly, this was right near where I was supposed to be for this run, and wasn't horrible. But at the moment, it felt like a disaster.

I went into run:walk intervals a little more frequently to try to regroup. I got back into my neighborhood, made the first turn, then the second. As I started up the tiniest, slightest incline, I began feeling the sheer shooting nerve pain in my left foot, the sore muscles, the backache, the strains, and the stress. I hit the top of the little incline and almost at the exact moment, mile 3 beeped. It was a 13:15. It was a perfect time for my day's training plan. But I was miserable and burst into tears. It took me several seconds to pull it together so I could run, but I continued to spill tears as I ran. I didn't want to go another mile. I was tired. I was hating this run. I was done. But I kept going.

As I got back to the point I knew was 4 miles, my watch only read 3.5. I was irritable and knew it - so I just went ahead and did the extra 0.5 miles so my watch would say 4 miles. As I kept going I kept fighting the negative thoughts and trying to get myself pulled back in. I headed towards one of my favorite segments of most runs, and as my watch finally beeped for 4 miles, I had begun to calm a bit. Mile 4 was in 12:20. How? My last mile was my fastest? I guess I just wanted to finish.

I realized I had just gone 4.5 instead of 4, but I was so not ready to go home yet. I still needed time to calm down and pull it together. So I continued walking towards my favorite segment, and then looped back towards home. I calmed more and more as I went, and the nerve pain in my foot began to subside. I tried to stretch some muscles a bit as I walked. By the time I got home, I felt better, but was so incredibly frustrated with the "bad run."

When I plugged in and the data filled my screen, it showed that I had just done my second fastest 5K since returning to running 5 weeks ago. Again... How? It felt like the worst run ever. How is it possible that it was a "good" run based on the data? I was exactly where I was supposed to be pacing and timing wise. I did a decently consistent 4 miles. But I felt horrible about it.

A million thoughts ran through my mind as I stretched. Maybe I shouldn't have worked out at the gym yesterday. Maybe I was overdoing it. Maybe I was setting too high a goal to run a half-marathon again. Maybe the Anthem 10K was too much too soon. Maybe I should rethink this whole return-to-running thing. Maybe the doctors were right. Maybe I couldn't. Maybe I shouldn't.

As I'm writing this, I know I won't quit. I know I won't give up. I know I'll go out there and run again on Monday. But I'm struggling with putting this run into perspective and not defeating myself and my efforts and progress thus far. I know some run days just plain suck. This was definitely one of them for me. But I also know that there are days like Thursday, when things just click and go so right. We've always had a deal with our team - no giving up after a bad run. If you want to quit, you have to do it after you've had 3 great runs in a row. Giving up isn't an option. I want this too badly to stop now. Sometimes I just wish it wasn't so darn hard or painful. Sometimes I wish my body would just cooperate and function normally. But, then again, the things worth doing aren't the easy things. The things that mean the most sometimes come with the hardest work. I just know one thing for certain - I want to enjoy running in Roanoke and Tahoe. I want to go to both races and know I am prepared and can do it. I want to finish both races smiling. And for that to happen, I have to find a way to get through these bad run days and grow from them. I have to keep going. I have to trust my coach and my intuition. I have to keep running.

Every Day I'm Getting Stronger

Today's run ended with the thought "Every day I AM getting stronger." It didn't start out looking like it was going to end that way. Once again, I proved to myself that even on the days when I think my run is going to be bad or painful, going and trying is far better than not going at all.

This morning was a bit overcast, the pavement was wet, my expected running buddy for the day had a change of plans, my back was a bit sore, and the air was very heavy with moisture. All of this together looked like a recipe for disaster.

I started out by doing a series of warm-ups in the driveway, which was a bit new for me. Typically I just start off slow and use mile 1 as my warm-up, even though it's difficult. Not a recommendation. The warm-up actually helped. A lot.

I headed out and made sure to hold myself back. I wanted to start slow and build on the run. It is so hard to get back into the distance mindset, when I feel like I'm doing sprints.

I settled in by the first interval beep at 4:30 and thought I felt like I could keep going. Until this moment, I hadn't decided what kind of run I was going to do. I was thinking of maybe using the 4:30/1 run/walk intervals, but instead of walking, just slow-running. There was also the thought of "just go and see how far you can get before you have to walk." Then there was, let's just go super slow the whole time and run the whole thing. By 4:30 into the run, I was good with seeing how far I could get running. By 20 minutes into the run, I wasn't about to take a walk interval. It became hard to slow down because I was in such a groove.

Mile one was done in 11:50. A bit faster than I had planned or expected, but not totally overdoing it. Mile two was a 12:16 mile. Still okay. Mile 2-2.6 was at a 11:34 pace, probably a bit fast for what I was supposed to do, but the fact that I was still running at this point, and felt like I could get to 3 miles, was awesome.

31:13 with an 11:58 pace. I'll take it. I really hope and pray this continues. I would love nothing more than to be able to Run the entire 5K on March 9th. What a birthday gift to myself that would be.

Speaking of my birthday run - come join us!! I'll have cupcakes at the finish line for anyone who signs up with team CareRunners or comes to cheer us on at the start/finish area. Daniel & I are running the 5K and my other kids are doing the 1 mile fun run. It's walker-friendly too. Join in the fun!!! Register here -
Solid Rock 5K

It is absolutely gorgeous outside now, so heading out to enjoy the rest of this beautiful, spring-like day.

Sluggish start to February

So February 1st ended up being a rest day. Just feeling a bit sluggish and not ready to hit the ground running.

But, Saturday, the 2nd, I managed a 5K.

3.19 miles. 40:25. Average pace 12:41. Slow, steady but solid. However, I felt awful. I used 3:30/1 run/walk intervals. It was manageable. My legs were heavy & tired, my whole body ached, and headache was constant. But I am glad I did it. I guess if I can manage a 40 minute 5K when I feel awful, I'm doing better than I thought.

And this was somewhat entertaining - I just wanted to finish - so mile 3 was faster than mile 2.

1 - 12:21 (and I said "oops" out loud - didn't think I was going that pace)
2 - 13:13 (had 2 extra walk intervals in there - just wasn't feeling great)
3 - 12:38 (skipped one walk interval because I missed the beep)

Sunday, February 3rd, I ended up going to the gym against everyone's protests. I cut back on my rowing, and only did 1/2 a mile instead of a mile. I also cut back on the weights, using less weight, doing less reps, and doing fewer rounds. I was glad I went. I felt way better afterwards. On top of that, I ran into my coach and we had a great conversation about where we are, where I want to be, how we're going to get there and what we can adjust. He also took me through some stretches and I left feeling immensely better.

Monday. I felt really out of sorts at work. I wasn't 100% by far. It ended up being a highly charged day. At the end of the school day I had a phone conversation with a 9/11 attorney. By the end of that conversation I was an emotional wreck. I had a lot of mixed emotions but the one thing I was convinced of was "I do not want to run today." I just wanted to go sit in a corner and cry. But, I laced up and went out to run anyway. I forgot how wonderful it is to be able to pound out the emotions and frustrations onto the pavement. I didn't even notice the extra half a mile. It felt awesome... like an "I want to go again - right now" kind of awesome. I knew I was not going to run again until Thursday, but I was ready to go, and that feeling was encouraging. Running is the best therapy ever.

On Monday's run I hit 2.52 miles, with a 12:07 average pace and a 30:32 run time. Mile 1 - 11:58, mile 2 - 12:20, 2-2.52 at a 12:02 pace. Sometimes emotions make us faster.

Tuesday is volleyball day. Today it's double day too. My girls had swim at Fort Sanders from 4:15-5, so I headed there directly from school to do some weight training and stretching while the girls were swimming. I got there in a rush, rushed through some quick sets with the weights, felt the muscles screaming about the intensity, grabbed the girls after practice, and headed home. I had an hour at home and then had to rush out to get to volleyball. Since it was so nice out, we decided to play outside on the sand courts. No one prepared us for how cold the sand was though. BRR!!! Definitely not summer yet. But we had a great practice, including some skill drills from one of our teammates who used to coach. By the end of the hour and 15 minutes, I was wiped out. I think I found a way to burn off all of the excess energy I was feeling all day. Maybe having a rest day tomorrow isn't a bad idea after all.

Pretty sure I'm going to sleep great tonight.