Flashing Neon Billboard Signs

One day I will write a song. It will be called "Flashing Neon Billboard Signs." Those of you who know what that means are laughing too hard to keep reading now. Aren't you?

Yep, He did it again. It started last week.

Last Monday I did a prayer & response journal. This is a snippet from it:

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God, what exactly is it that you want me to do with this? I get that you want me to speak - but about what? What is it you want me to say & do?

I want you to go. Be a light. Bring my Words of hope, healing and love to those who are struggling. I want you to practice obedience and trust, just as we've worked on for the past two years. It's time. I have given you my Words. I have complete control of your hands, your mouth and your mind. Just let Me work through you. My grace is sufficient. My strength is all you need. Just go.

Yes, Lord.

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For me to answer with a simple "yes, Lord" that was not followed by the word "but" was significant. There was nothing more for me to say but yes, Lord. There was no hesitation. I had seen it coming. I knew what He expected of me. Yes, part of me still wants to know the how and why, but that's where the obedience and trust come in. If I keep my mind, my heart, my eyes and my ears turned to Him, He will be the one doing it all.

Last Wednesday I was listening to some new albums on my IPod and came across a song that immediately spoke to me. I began singing along with the chorus. I checked my IPod to see what song it was and just had to laugh when I saw the artist's name. Go figure. God has such a great sense of humor. The chorus:

"I'll be the carrier of love and compassion
I'll be the carrier of light to the world
I'll be the carrier of hope and salvation
I will go shine Your light to the world
I will go shine Your light to the world" ~Jared Anderson

Thursday I was working on my memory verses for school.

"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:13-16

The lesson, questions and discussion following the memory verses were intriguing. I was fully absorbed into this. I'm salt and I'm light. If I'm salt, I make people thirsty, right? If I'm light, I shed light on people's darkness, right? People should see me and want what I have, right? If I am not using my salt - I'm good for nothing. If I'm using my light I will not keep it hidden. It wasn't "you have some salt to use." It was "YOU ARE the salt of the earth." It wasn't "you have some light in you." It was "YOU ARE the light of the world." Let your light SHINE! Be SALTY! Let people see the light and want to come out of the darkness towards it. Let people taste the salt and want more. Let them thirst for His quenching water.

Friday night I went to a Good Friday service at a local church. I'd never been to one of their services before, but I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. Others had referred to it as a "charismatic" "holy roller" and "gospel-ly" church. My thought was "Great! They must know how to praise God!" Boy was I ever right. I was BLOWN AWAY by the worship Friday night. I had people in front of me who spoke little English. Their first language was Spanish. I had people to my right who spoke Spanish. I had people behind me who spoke Chinese. I was sitting beside a girl who was raised Jewish and whose mother was still a practicing Jew. This girl had just come to know Jesus recently. The other woman sitting with us was a staff member of the church who I'd become friends with. When the praise and worship started, all colors, languages, ethnicities, religious backgrounds and everything else faded away. It was a glimpse of what Heaven will be like with every tongue and every nation proclaiming Jesus is Lord. That church was praising Him as if we were already in Heaven. That worship ROCKED. Then, as we prayed and I heard the "Si, Abba" on one side and "Ah-man" behind me and "Yes, Lord" on the other side of me, I just marveled at how we could all come together in one place to worship the same God. The songs we sang were familiar and quenched so much of the thirst I'd had from being in a desert for so long. I didn't realize how much I needed fellowship with other believers until I'd finally been allowed the opportunity to have that fellowship after being kept from it for so long. My heart's eyes and ears were wide open. As the preachers tag-teamed the 7 statements made from the cross I listened intently. When one of the preachers made the comment "We are salt. Are we making people thirsty?" I had to laugh to myself. There it was again. He spoke of how offerings in the Old Testament had to have salt in them and how Jesus was salt, and His offering was a perfect sacrifice. The salt. The light.

Easter Sunday I was miraculously given the opportunity to go to church again - and take my boys with me. The boys actually agreed to stay in children's church with Sue and let me go to "big people" church. I honestly didn't connect as much that morning as I had Friday night, but one thing stood out. During his sermon, the preacher referred to the Great Commission:

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

I think I probably memorized those verses when I was 9 or 10. I never forgot them. They were ingrained in my mind. But had I taken the Word to heart? Had I DONE what the verses said to do? Was I actively participating in the Great Commission? My journal prayer and response came back to mind. I vowed to go. No matter where He led, I'd go. Another song came back to mind. "Here I Am":

"Here I am, Lord send me
All of my life, I make an offering,
Here I am, Lord send me
Somehow my story is a part of Your plan,
Here I am" ~Downhere

I remember this song from the time a couple of years ago. Back when I realized He had called me to something I'd thought I'd forever walked away from. Back when I realized He had bigger plans for me than I wanted. Back when I finally gave up my will and gave Him all of me to use as He so desired. Yet here it was again.

Yesterday I started a Bible study that a group of us who live in multiple states decided to do together through an online forum. I got out my book, did the lesson and replied to the discussion online. The things that stood out from the lesson were that King Uzziah was just 16 when he took reign, and that he was extremely successful WHEN HE KEPT HIS EYES ON GOD. "As long as he sought the Lord, God gave him success" (2 Chronicles 26:5b). If we keep our eyes on Him and seek His face, HE will succeed at the work He has placed before us. Trust. Obey. Give Him our EVERYTHING. Seek Him. Let Him work in and through us.

I usually end my day the same way I start it - with some Christian music. As I was getting ready for bed last night, I hit play on my IPod and of course "Carrier" just had to come on. I shook my head laughing. Then I replayed it. I really took in ALL of the lyrics. I hit play a third time and went to turn off the light. As I passed my dresser I spotted the memory verse cards for the Bible study. I realized I hadn't read the verse so I picked up the card and read it. My jaw dropped. Literally. I'm standing there with "Carrier" playing in the background and this verse staring me in the face and all I could do was stand and stare in amazement.

The memory verse from the Bible study:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Isaiah 61:1

I realized I'd just heard those words.

The full lyrics from "Carrier":

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me
To preach good news to the poor
To bind up the broken-hearted
To make You known even more

So that people living in darkness
Will see the great light

I'll be the carrier of love and compassion
I'll be the carrier of light to the world
I'll be the carrier of hope and salvation
I will go shine Your light to the world
I will go shine Your light to the world

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me
Freedom and truth to proclaim
Trade your ashes for the oil of gladness
And your sorrows for garments of praise

Here am I send me send me
Here am I send me send me" ~Jared Anderson

Everything connected. My prayer and response journal. Obedience. Trust. "Carrier". Matthew 5:13-16. Salt. Light. Every tongue & every nation. Perfect sacrifice. Open the eyes of our hearts. The Great Commission. "Here I Am". Ministry. Youth ministry. Speaking. Keep our eyes on Him. Seek the Lord. He anointed me. He sent me. Reach those who are broken and living in darkness. It's not like this was a major break-through of profound knowledge. I knew all of these things. I'd known them for years. It was just another affirmation from Him that yes, I am on the right path and yes, I am following His lead in my life. If I keep focused on Him and keep seeking His face, it's all going to go as planned. HIS way. His plans. I'd already vowed to follow. Wherever He goes. Wherever He leads. No matter what obstacles the devil throws in the path. No matter what's going on around me. Go. Follow Him. These were all just reminders He put in place over the past week to show that He is still there, He's still in control, and He's holding me to that promise. There's no room for fear or doubt. It's time to just GO. I've given Him all of me. Now I just need to GO and let Him use me. No holding back...