Are your hands reaching?

Sunday evening, while many were at church services, a tornado ripped through the town of Joplin, Missouri. It seemed it was just the latest in a string of deadly tornadoes across the country. However, this one had the grim distinction of being the deadliest single tornado since the weather service began keeping records in 1950. (a 1925 twister killed 695 and is considered the deadliest ever in US history) Monday morning, the entire country woke up to astonishing news footage and pictures of the destruction.

As Christians, Americans, and just your average human beings, many felt the immediate "what can I do to help?" rise up in their spirit.

Early Monday morning, Ryan and I began contacting friends and acquaintances in the ministry who are in the Joplin area. We simply asked "what can we do?" "what do you need?" "how can we best serve you?" and simply said "we are praying for you, your church, and your city." The response from our Joplin contacts was sobering.

From Fred "Six have lost their homes but not their lives. Just pray for all of us in Joplin."

From Tyler "We have had several families lose their homes and several we are unable to reach. We are trying to coordinate our support however we can but things are still a little crazy. Thank you for your prayers and support."

From Barry "THANK YOU!! Really appreciate your note! Prayer is obviously number one."

From Dan "We have a team out working to help people...thank u for prayers."

From Connie "We had two families and one elderly couple lose everything but their lives. Most of our congregation was affected. We are at a loss for words. It helps so much to know that you are all praying for us. It's the best thing you can do right now. Thank you."

What struck both Ryan and I the most was that prayer was the thing every single one of them remarked on. Every contact we made mentioned prayer. If nothing else, they wanted to know they were being covered in prayer.

The second thing we noticed was how often they kept thanking us - for simply reaching out. They were overwhelmed with what they were facing, yet they were grateful. They didn't know what to tell us to send, but they said thank you anyway. Day-by-day as the lists of specific needs were formulated, each contact ended with "thank you". Over and over. In the midst of turmoil, people were choosing to be thankful. What a testimony to the hearts of these ministers.

Then came the response from all of the people from outside of Joplin, MO. Our inboxes have seen more action in the past 5 days than they have in the past 5 years. We've had youth ministers telling us they had a group of 10, 12 or 20 ready to go to Joplin and asking us to help them with logistics. We had pastors from NH, WA, FL, CA, CO and NM telling us they had boxes of supplies ready to ship and asking where the best place to send them was. We had individual after individual telling us they had anything from baby blankets to groceries, gift cards to work gloves and asking who to send them to. We had people asking us if they could "adopt a family" that lost everything. We had more offers to help in 5 days than I have ever experienced in such a short time following a disaster. We also have to thank those who are more well-known speakers and artists than us - like Angela Thomas - who were instrumental in spreading the word to their followers.

Ryan and I began discussing peoples' reaction to this disaster compared to others - and compared to every other day, when we list needs in various ministries. People came out of the woodwork with arms stretched out, hands and hearts willing to help and serve. It was beautiful to see the body of Christ in action, working together from every state in this country to help those in need. How incredible would it be to see that every single day of every single year?! People coming together as one in Christ to build up those in need. What an amazing sight that would be! Imagine - if it's that beautiful to us to see it for 5 days - imagine how incredibly beautiful it would be not just to us, but to this nation as a whole - and to Jesus Himself - to see believers unite for such a time as this. As we work together to meet the needs of those affected by the storms, we are creating a beautiful worship song to our Lord. We are bringing Him glory and honor and praise. Isn't that what it's all supposed to be about anyway? Serving God - and serving others. So how can we capture this post-disaster unity and make it last? We have seen it after the OK City bombing, the attacks of September 11th, Hurricane Katrina, the rash of tornado outbreaks, the floods along the Mississippi and more. There are people struggling in this country every single day. Where is the unity then? Where are the outstretched hands and open hearts then? What can we do to create a body of believers working together each and every day to glorify God?

We came to this conclusion... it starts with one - and then two. Each person has a part to play. Each person has specific gifts, skills and abilities. Each has his own personality. Each has to have a willing heart. Each person has to decide to do something to help. It starts with two people who both are reaching out choosing to work together to have a greater impact. As those two work together, they bring in two more. And then two more. Before we realize it, we have a mass of people all reaching and working together. It comes down to this - each day one person has to be willing to reach out and do something THAT DAY to make a difference. Then, he needs to find someone else willing to do the same. Then they need to work together and start doing whatever it is to help. As they do, they need to encourage others to come on board. The next day, it needs to start all over again. It doesn't have to be a huge disaster-level response every day. It simply needs to be hands reaching out to serve - and serve together. Or, as was shown by the ministers of Joplin, two people willing to pray together in faith.

What are you doing today to reach out and serve?

For more information on how to help those affected by the tornadoes, please email SERVEministries@gmail.com. 

It's a Veggie Life

I had NO idea which one was saying which line, but the boys were in the bathroom washing up after dinner, and this is what I heard from my seat in the living room...

‎"I'm taller than you."

"No - I'm bigger."

"No - I am. See - I'm taller. Look in the mirror."

"Well - you're not as big as God."

"Am too."

"Are not - God's bigger than the boogie man - so He's the biggest anything there IS!"

I am now very thankful I'm in the other room as I try to muffle my laughter. (and how does every single thing keep coming back to this Veggie Tales line lately?!?!?!)

The discussion continues in the bathroom...

"Well He may be the biggest - but I'm the smartest."

"Oh yeah - God made you - so He's smarter."

"How about we're both smart - but not as smart as God."

"Good."

Where do these two come up with these discussions?!?!

Then, they brought the argument into the living room.

Patrick - "Well I just have to be as big as I am."

Daniel - "But I'm taller."

Patrick - "So?"

Daniel - "But you know everything. I'm still learning. You have to teach me all you know."

I can't stop laughing/crying at this point. Thankfully they are too wrapped up in their discussion to even notice.

I ended up distracting them with my old keyboard. All three kids were happily singing, dancing and playing the keyboard together. Problem solved.

But was it ever really a problem? Or just a really great discussion that can be used as a learning tool?

Just a few moments after this, the kids' grandfather called up from downstairs and asked if anyone wanted ice cream. Daniel and Patrick took off down the stairs, shutting the door behind them. Emma was having none of that. She wanted to go. She had no idea where they were going, or what for, but she was not happy about being left behind. So I grabbed her little bowl and took her downstairs too. She got a big scoop of chocolate ice cream from her Poppy and all 3 headed back upstairs to enjoy their treat.

Emma insisted on feeding herself the ice cream. Daniel tried to take her spoon saying, "Mommy, she's going to make a mess!" I said to let her have the spoon and leave her be. Patrick then asked me with wide eyes, "You're going to let her feed herself?!" like he couldn't believe I was that crazy. I asked the boys, "Do you know how you learned to feed yourself?" They both said no, shaking their heads. I said, "I gave you some food and a spoon and let you try to do it yourself, and I let you make a mess. That's how you learn to do something new - by trying it - even if you make a mess. We can always clean up the mess later." They got what I was saying and settled into their own treats. We had a LOT of laughs as we watched Emma trying to get the spoon full of chocolate ice cream into her mouth - and we all splashed around with her giving her a bath afterwards.



after the first few attempts to get it in her mouth



after the ice cream was finished



saying thank you to Poppy after we got all nice and clean again



Once Emma was tucked in bed and the boys had finished their bedtime routines and were ready to be tucked in themselves, Daniel asked me another million-dollar question. "Mommy," he said, "Does Jesus sometimes let us make a mess trying to do things ourselves so we'll learn how to do it right?" Wow... WOW! Talk about an amazing door-opener... and what a visual!

"YES!! Yes, Daniel, sometimes He does let us make a mess trying to do things ourselves, because sometimes that's the only way we learn that we can really do nothing without Him! He can help us do things correctly, but on our own, we're not very good at it. We make big messes. The Bible says "I can do nothing on my own" and "I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength."* That's why it's important that we keep talking to Him and listening to Him, so we don't make such big messes out of things. But isn't it great to know that He's there - ready and willing to help us clean up our messes and get it right the next time?!"

In my house, you never know just when an opportunity will arise to talk about Jesus with the kids. Lately it seems like it's every 30 seconds - but in all seriousness - I couldn't be more thankful for these crazy little nuggets of time. The boys are hungry to know as much as they can about Him, and I am more than willing to give them as much food as they want from His word! I love that even their "private discussions" and everyday banter include God these days. Learning moments. I know in another 10 years or so I will be even more thankful for these little pieces of opportunity to pour God's words into them while the door is still wide open.

* John 5:30; Philippians 4:13

What?! Haven't you ever seen someone eat ice cream before?!



Slobbery Kisses Here & From Above

My little Emma has become quite the affectionate little girl. From day one, she has been smiling and spreading those smiles to anyone in sight. Lately, though, she's added to this. Anytime someone picks her up, for any reason whatsoever, she starts a grand goodbye. She waves with one little hand, and with the other she is blowing slobbery kisses in between each "buhbye!" If you give her a squeeze she starts planting those big slobbery kisses right on your face. If you aren't looking at her, she will take her chubby little hands and turn your face to hers and then give you a big slobbery kiss. It's not just the goodbyes either. Yesterday, as the boys came home from school, she heard them starting up the stairs (kind of hard to miss all that noise - but that's another story). As soon as the door opened one little crack, she started the biggest celebration ever. She threw her arms up in the air (think touchdown!) and starts screeching "YAY" and "WHOOOO-WAY." This of course made both boys smile bigger than humanly possible and start their own round of "yay" and "hooray - it's Emma!" What a welcome home after a long day of school - and what fun for her to be able to greet the boys that way and be given just as much love and affection in return - times two!

Emma is constantly giving me visuals of biblical concepts. Her exuberant goodbyes and hellos remind me of stories like the prodigal son (when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him... bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: and bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry) and the reunion of Jacob and Esau after so many years (Esau was also running to meet Jacob, and gave him a big bear hug, and kissed him, and they both wept tears of joy at seeing one another after so many long years.) To Emma, it doesn't matter if you're returning after a day at school or just from a few minutes in another room, she is going to greet you as if you are a long-lost loved one finally coming home. As she covers us in sloppy kiss after sloppy kiss, I have to wonder just how much more excited Jesus is going to be when He welcomes us home after our time here on earth is over. I watch Emma trying to jump up and down on her pudgy little legs and clapping her hands in joy and I can just picture Jesus with a huge smile, open arms and rushing over to say "welcome home."

The thing is, we don't have to wait until we're dead, buried and risen again to be greeted like that by Jesus. In fact, we can experience that warm welcome every single time we say His name. When we wake up in the morning and start our day with a prayer to Him, He's there, super-excited and greeting us with a "Good Morning My beautiful child! Isn't this an incredible day I've created for you? It's so good to hear from you this morning! I can't wait to show you what I have in store for you today!" During the day as we pray to Him, He's there waiting eagerly to greet us each time, whether it's been 20 minutes or 20 hours. As we get ready for bed and end our day in prayer, He's so excited to hear from us again and so thankful that we are going to allow Him to be the last conversation we have that day, and that He gets to "tuck us in" for the night. He is so pleased to have us calling on Him, making Him a part of our everyday lives. He's waiting each time to celebrate with us and cover us with His kisses from Heaven. The may not be as wet and full of baby slobber as Emma's kisses, but those heavenly kisses can change our attitudes and outlooks, and turn the worst of days into days full of blessings.

Here's the thing... in order to get heavenly hugs and kisses from our Father, we have to turn to Him. Sometimes we're looking towards Him and are ready for His affection. Sometimes, just as Emma takes her hands and turns our faces towards her so she can kiss us, Jesus uses His hands to turn our eyes from earthly things and helps us focus our eyes on Him, so He can gift us with His hugs and kisses (blessings). If you're not feeling the Love, maybe you need to turn your face towards Him so He can kiss your face.

Chaotic Peace

I'm sitting here staring at the computer with hundreds of thoughts racing through my mind of things I want to share, and I don't even know where to begin. I'm at week 3 of the "sickies" (round 7 or 8), and for the first time ever had to back out of a youth ministry speaking engagement. We're facing what Don & I considered to be our worst possible nightmare 6 1/2 years ago when we began discussing starting a family. We're dealing with a revolving door of friends and family leaving to go to the war in Afghanistan & surrounding countries, and those on their way back, or who just recently returned only to find out they are heading back this winter. All 3 of our kids have been taking turns since mid-November with this same respiratory and eye infection. There've been countless funerals and announcements of those who are finding out they are sick from 9/11. We've had the announcement of Bin Laden's death followed by constant droning of military aircraft over our city, reminders of the 10 year anniversary coming up, and discussions of our plans for this year's firehouse breakfast/lunch and whether I will risk going to lower Manhattan to be with fellow responders for the anniversary, or whether we all play it safe (out of fear?) and stay home that day - or even get away from NYC altogether for that weekend. I've had to deal with this wrist injury for almost 3 months, Don's had his physical issues to continue dealing with, and other family members have had health issues come up. On top of all of these stressors are the normal everyday things we have to do - raising our kids, keeping the house livable at least, my schoolwork, his work & traveling, t-ball practice, the boys' homework, extended family responsibilities and demands, and expectations from friends to at least remain on speaking terms if not see each other once in a blue moon.

In the midst of all of the storms raging around us, there has been a bubble of absolute peace over our house. Never has it been so calm inside these four walls. Each day when I wake up, instead of seeing all of those storms, I am seeing God's hand. Each day as we focus on the tasks-at-hand and do what has to get done, I'm trusting that He's got it all under control. Each night as we go to bed, we're not laying down with burdens or troubled hearts. We're resting in complete peace.

Someone asked me the other day how I can stay so positive and strong through all of the chaos going on in our lives. I just laughed. It's not me. If it was up to me to be happy, positive, full of joy or strong through this - I'd be a heap of a crying mess curled up in a ball on the floor blocking out the sights & sounds. Thankfully, it's not up to me. All that's expected of me is to keep my eyes on the Father, trust Him, and walk in obedience to His directions. At times it seems that I'm on a tightrope 1000 miles in the air with winds howling all around me, but there is no fear, no uncertainty and no doubt. I'll admit - there's been some frustrations. But each time I start to feel those frustrations surface, He's always reminded me that it's all in His time, not mine, and to not lose heart.

Would I voluntarily choose to go through these storms? No. But I wouldn't trade this time in our lives for anything, because it's during these storms that we're seeing His work in our lives and seeing His hands moving. I heard someone say this week "In order to learn peace you have to experience chaos." It's true. Now we know what Jesus meant when He said He would give us the "peace that passes all understanding." I can't explain the peace to you. All I can say is that we are calm, we are at peace, and we are free to continue living without fear, no matter how bad the storms around us get. They can keep blowing all they want - because I know they can't get to us. They can't shake us and they can't destroy us. We're being held in bigger Hands.

Tying it all together

Tonight was one of those nights where I listened to someone speaking and couldn't write the notes fast enough to get everything down I wanted to remember. SO much information - and affirmation - and conviction - and humor. It was one of the most amazing messages I've heard in a while - mostly because it took a bunch of information I already knew, verses I'd been studying, comments I'd heard before and concepts I'd already grasped, and put them together into one concise, practical outline.

The message was from Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California. The sermon was part 3 of his Raising Amazing Kids series. He was discussing 5 truths you must help kids understand & believe, and 5 questions you must help kids ask & answer. Great parenting advice - and GREAT info for ANYONE - whether you are a parent or not!

FYI - you can view the actual sermon this week on http://www.saddleback.com/internetcampus/live/. There are multiple times that the message is aired throughout the week. Trust me - you'll get more out of watching and hearing Rick give you this information that you will reading my summary! Check it out.

Beginning - Hebrews 2:10 and Malachi 2:15-16
I am responsible TO MY KIDS
But I'm NOT responsible FOR THEIR CHOICES

OK.... so the 1st truth Rick gave was - "I was planned for God's pleasure." He referred to Rev 4:11b and Is. 44:2 during his talk. Two big things that were reiterated in my life -
1 - There are NO accidental children
2 - You cannot possibly make God stop loving you
The question that went along with this truth was "What will be the CENTER of my life?" Love God 1st and foremost (Matt 22:37-38) - Am I going to live a self-centered life or a God-centered life? We have a single-minded purposed in life - to honor God (Jer 32:29). Whatever is at the center of your life is what you will worship. You need something you cannot lose at the center of your life. If the center of your life is your career - you will lose it. If the center of your life is your favorite sport/activity - you will lose it. You can't lose God. He cannot be taken from you (2 Cor 5:14). Build your lives on Him (Col 2:7). If worry is a part of your life - God is not at the center - something else has taken center-stage (Phil 4:6-7).

The 2nd truth... "I was formed for God's family" (Eph 1:5) The question - "Who will be my companions?" (1 Cor 15:33, Ps 1:1-3, Rom 12:5) It's the friends you chooose that will set you up to succeed or fail. Every child needs to be in a group. They will choose either a good group or a bad group - but they will look for a group in which to belong. Provide good options for them - churches, youth groups, ministry teams, etc. Every child wants to belong. We ALL want to belong. We don't want to be alone. We need fellowship. We were made to live together. We are family.

3rd truth - "I was created to become like Christ" (Eph 1:11, Rom 8:39) When we become Christlike we'll show the fruits of the Spirit in our lives. The question with this truth - "What will be my character? What will be the character of my life?" (Phil 2:5, 2 Peter 1:5) Kids (and adults) want to know what they will become... who they are going to grow up to be. NOTE - it is more important what you become than what you do! "You're not taking your career to heaven. You're taking your character."

4th truth - "I was shaped to serve God" (Eph 2:10) He shaped us - made us - molded us to what we are. TO NOT ACCEPT YOURSELF IS TO BLAME GOD - you're saying God made a mistake. You are who you are because God made you that way - and God doesn't make mistakes. God put you here to make a contribution. You have a specific purpose for being here. TO SERVE GOD and SERVE OTHERS. Serve God. Serve people. The question - "What will be my contribution?" (1 Pet 4:10) How will you give back? How will you use your gifts/talents? Each of us has - according to research - 500-800 talents & skills. We don't use nearly what we possess. We need to help our kids (and others) find out what their talents are. What are their gifts? Then we need to teach them how to use those gifts to serve God and serve others. We are to use our gifts to help each other and further His kingdom - not to focus on ourselves and be successful individuals.

5th truth - "I was made for a mission" (John 17:18) THIS got a LOT of discussion in chat because of how it was worded. Get this... God made you a special message to the world. He has a life message He wants to say to the world through you. If you don't share it - it won't be heard. DON'T WASTE YOUR HURTS. The heartaches, trials, hurts, etc are preparing you to help others. Live in a way to be a credit to Christ. Use those past hurts to help minister to others. Question - "What will be my message to the world? What is my mission?" (2 Cor 5:18, 20)

Rick shared this poem -

I'd Rather See a Sermon - by Edgar A. Guest

"I'd rather see a sermon, than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me, than merely tell the way.
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear;
And the best of all preachers are the men who live their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.
I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you give,
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live."

I am totally blogging more about this poem later on - but for now just let the words sink in.

The final thing Rick said tonight was - YOU HAVE HOMEWORK THIS WEEK. (Like I needed more added to my pile of schoolwork)

Here's the assignment - this week - ask yourself the 5 questions:
**What will be the center of my life? (What will I worship?)
**Who will be my companions? (Are there negative influences I need to eliminate?)
**What will be the character of my life? (What am I doing to be like Christ?)
**What will be my contribution? (How will I give back & use my gifts/talents?)
**What will be my message to the world? (What is my mission?)

Pretty powerful stuff.

Again - this is all from Rick Warren. This is not my message - not my info. I'm just summarizing what I heard and got from it. I STRONGLY encourage you to go watch the sermon yourself. It's very worth your time.

I'll expand on each of these 5 truths and how they applied to me in future blogs.

Memories for a lifetime - or treasures in heaven?

Let's take a tour of the inside of my home.

When you walk in, you are in the living room. Other than the mess of toys all over the floor and baby safety gates trying to keep them contained to one area, you'll see tons of books; tons of photos; a computer; a big TV complete with a Wii and DVD/VCR and a bazillion games for the Wii, DVDs and VHS tapes (sadly - yes); scrapbooks; 6 overflowing shelves of kids games, toys, puzzles & such; 5 overflowing shelves of kids books; a file cabinet filled with miscellaneous papers/bills/etc; and the mandatory sofa, chair and rug.

If you turn right when entering the living room and then make another right, you're in the kitchen. Don remodeled the kitchen right before I moved here, and I absolutely love it. Messy as it stays with two boys dropping crumbs constantly and a baby girl intentionally throwing food everywhere, my kitchen is probably my favorite room in the house. It's by far the most modern. Anyways, in the kitchen you'll find a nice, big table given to us by Don's cousin; 4 more shelves of kids art supplies, school supplies and magazines;  cabinets filled with food, bakeware, cookware, Tuppeware, cookbooks, and on and on; and a pantry closet overflowing with dry goods, coolers, cooking supplies, travel containers, odds & ends appliances and any size Ziploc, garbage bag or roll of foil you could ever want. You'll also see a fairly new refrigerator, dishwasher, stove and microwave. Along the countertops you'll find various appliances meant to make our lives so much easier (really - that quesadilla maker has been a lifesaver!). That somewhat new refrigerator I mentioned is stuffed to the gills with all kinds of food. So is the freezer above it. Speaking of which, I think it's time to check the dates again...

Let's move on. Back through the living room, if we came in the door and turned left instead of right, we'd be in the hallway. On both sides of the hallway the walls are filled with photos of the kids. First birthdays, the boys' 2nd, 3rd & 4th birthdays, family portraits, Emma's first Christmas, the boys' first Christmas; and, well, you get the picture.

Walking down the hall, first door on the left - let's make a quick pit stop in the bathroom. If you glance in, you'll see the basics - toilet, sink & tub, along with two space saver shelves. Oh - that sink - it's huge - has 3 drawers on each side and a cabinet & long drawer underneath. Inside are dozens and dozens of assorted toiletries, some unopened, some half-used and multiples of several things. You'll find the bottom drawer stocked high with towels of assorted colors. The tub - it has jacuzzi jets - something Don insisted on when he redid the bathroom. Oh - and yes - that means we have somewhat new tile on both the floor and the walls.

Just outside of the bathroom is a hall closet that is filled with extra sheets, blankets, towels, washcloths, beach towels, two window air conditioning units that will come out from June-October, a couple of pieces of luggage, extra shower curtains, first aid supplies and any extra toiletries that didn't fit in all of the in-bathroom storage areas.

Moving on down the hallway. First door on the right - Emma's room/guest room. Two chests of drawers. A crib. A bed. A closet. A bookshelf with two shelves of baby books and toys. The chests of drawers are full of clothes in assorted sizes, more blankets than we could ever use, keepsakes, and all of the essential baby stuff - creams, first aid kit, monitors, etc. Under the crib are containers with diapers and wipes. In the closet are boxes of things that we couldn't fit anywhere else. Some is Christmas stuff, some is camping stuff, some is keepsakes and some is clothing.

Across the hall is Don & my bedroom. Nice, big queen size bed, wardrobe, dresser, two nightstands, bookshelf and desk. Everything that is supposed to hold clothing is stuffed full. So is the bookshelf. So is the desk. The closet is full of clothes and shoes. There are photos all over the place - on the walls, on shelves, etc. There are more CDs, DVDs, cassette tapes (um - yes - I still have some), records (or LPs, albums - whatever you want to call them), and VHS tapes (what?!). There are dozens of little keepsake trinkets scattered about. The desk is full of papers that "I might need if..."

Last room at the end of the hall... the boys' bedroom. Biggest bedroom but still not huge - it barely fits the two beds, dresser, chest of drawers and nightstand. Oh - and they have not one, but two skinny media towers filled with DVDs. Their dressers, like the rest of ours, are filled to the brim. So is their closet - though - to their credit - most of the stuff hanging in the closet is everybody's coats, jackets and dressy clothes. (Our closets are TINY. Don't think we have all of these huge, walk-in closets filled with stuff. We aren't THAT bad.) Underneath Daniel's bed is a Thomas the Tank Engine playtable that is supposed to roll out easily - and it did - until the boys broke two of the wheels. Underneath Patrick's bed are all of the boys' shoes, flip flops, sandals, boots, slippers, etc. I'm not kidding when I say I think they each have as many pair of shoes as I do. On top of their dressers and nightstand are assorted toys and books. On the ends of each of their beds is a huge pile of stuffed animals. On the wall are posters and framed photos.

That's it. Oh - wait - one more thing. The attic. It's holding approximately 24 tote containers of camping equipment, keepsakes, Christmas/ fall/ Easter/ Halloween decorations and other assorted stuff that we can live without right now. And I was just reminded - we also have partial use of the basement. Down there, the boys' toys have taken over and are holding the rest of the basement hostage. They also have another TV, a media center filled with VHS tapes, a DVD/VHS player, a Thomas storage container with play top, a bazillion trains and 100 miles of tracks at least, toy storage containers filled with other little toys and balls, a table & chairs, a new Lego table, and a bunch of outside toys. Don and I have a dinette cabinet down there and a Total Gym. The rest of the basement inhabitants belong to his parents - though we do use the washer & dryer that are down there too.

OUTSIDE we have a yard filled with toys - a see-saw, a slide, t-ball equipment, a playhouse, two kiddie picnic tables, a mini ride-on coaster given to us by a neighbor whose son outgrew it, a huge picnic table with 4 benches, and a storage building filled with our 4 bikes, some extra tables & chairs for the family backyard parties, BBQ stuff, a wagon for the kids to ride in, a bike trailer the kids ride in, the boys' scooters, gardening stuff, tools and car fix-it stuff (don't ask me what it's really called).

So - that's sums up pretty much all of our possessions - except our two vehicles that are both somewhat new and are both in great condition (other than the crumbs and sticky stuff inside).

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well - first let me tell you about someone else. To protect his identity I am going to change his name. We'll call him "Evan." "Evan" is 7 years old. He lives in South Dakota. He lives with his mother, his baby sister, his aunt, his other aunt and her 4 children, his other aunt and her 2 children, and his other aunt and her 2 children. That's 10 kids between the ages of 1 and 17, and 5 adult women between the ages of 19 and 43. They share a 2 bedroom home with 1 bath. When you walk in their front door you'll see a few piles of blankets in various places; a small TV and VCR that sometimes work; a kitchen with a refrigerator older than anyone living in the home; a stove that works on occasion; a table that doesn't look like it could hold the weight of 2 or 3 plates; much less 15; two chairs that have been broken and fixed with duct tape; and little stacks of clothing here and there. If you go to the bathroom you'll find an old chipped bathtub with stains from hard water; a toilet with the same hard water stains; a sink with the same stains; and a few toiletries here and there. In one of the bedrooms are more piles of blankets and more little stacks of clothes. That's it. Same in the other bedroom. There are no dressers. No beds. Only one mattress - for the matriarch of the family. No pictures on the walls. No photo albums on shelves. Not too many toys laying around - and certainly no new ones. The kids share what clothing there is - whether it fits them well or not. Same with the few toiletries and towels. Oh - and the walls of the home - they aren't insulated and don't keep out the heat OR the cold. They barely keep out the bugs.

I wish I was describing some far-off land that we'd never have to see first-hand, but I'm talking about a place HERE IN AMERICA. They are just one of thousands of households like this within our own country. As I was speaking to "Evan" to see how school was going and check in on how he was adjusting to being back in this home after having lived with his grandmother for four years until her death, I was astounded at how joyful he was, despite his circumstances. He never knows if he'll have food to eat that day. He doesn't know if he'll have shoes to wear or a coat to keep him warm when winter comes. Yet he chooses to smile and be happy, loving life and loving the people he has contact with. He never stops saying thank you for the littlest things. He is such a blessing.

God has been placing a burden on my heart for some time now. We have SO much in our lives and surround ourselves with SO many unnecessary things. We do this while others around us are struggling just to meet their basic needs and stay alive. "Evan" is just one of many kids living life day-to-day. I was given a challenge to "inventory" my belongings. I didn't list all of the things in the first several paragraphs to brag or share just how much we have. In fact, I am outright ashamed and embarrassed to be surrounded by so much "STUFF." I've been on a mission for the past year to rid myself of as much "stuff" as I can - and get the things that can help into the hands of some of those people who have nothing. The more I get rid of, the more I find I can live without, and the more I start sorting through again. Each time I send out more stuff I am reminded of something my Outward Bound instructor said during our Yosemite trip. He said "all I need in life I can carry on my back." For a week, I lived that life. Everything I needed to survive for a week I carried. It is humbling to say the least, and a learning experience I think every American should be required to have.

Recently, a thought was brought to mind in regards to all of this. Jesus instructs us to store up our treasures in heaven - to make eternal things our priority. The disciples got up, leaving everything they had, to follow Him. Could I just up and walk away from everything in my house and not look back? Furthermore, am I surrounding myself with momentos of the past and hanging on tightly to memories, instead of focusing on what's to come? I'm not saying I am going to get rid of every photo and keepsake - but really, when it comes down to it, what's really going to matter in the long-run? Are the memories of our past what's supposed to be a priority? Or should we be focusing on meeting the needs of those around us who can't meet their own needs, empowering them to stand on their own feet again, and walking towards eternity without concern to wordly things? Shouldn't we be more focused on leading others on the path to eternity than finding comfort in memories of past adventures?

This has been such a tough reality-check for me. I am SO guilty of trying to hold onto every single moment of my kids' past - and my own. Trying so hard to make those memories last a lifetime. I don't want to be so caught up in trying to preserve the past that I lose sight of the eternal treasures.

What about you? What are the things that you are holding tight to? What "stuff" is surrounding you? What could you eliminate and what could you share with those who are struggling just to survive? How could you make life a little easier for those in need, while de-cluttering your own? Where are your treasures?

Learning to Fall - Spiritual Gymnastics

This morning, in the craziest of times and places (at least in my opinion - probably not His), God put a thought in my head, "I taught you how to fall first, so that you could learn to stand confidently now."

Wow. OK, God - that's cool and all - but what is that supposed to mean?

Seven years ago (!) when I first moved to NYC, I was a gymnastics coach for a competitive club team. Gymnastics had been a part of my life in some way, shape or form for over 20 years. I had spent countless hours over the years teaching little girls how to twist, flip, roll, jump, dive, bound and dance. But no matter whether it was the littlest preschooler, a first-year team girl, a 10-year veteran, or an Olympic gold medalist, each gymnast first had to learn the most critical skill in the whole sport - falling.

A conversation immediately came to mind this morning when I asked what that thought from God was supposed to mean. There was a Level 6 girl named Nicole who was trying to get over a mental block and complete a back walkover on the beam. It was the only skill that was keeping her from progressing. She was up on the high beam and wanted to just do the skill. She got so frustrated with me when I made her get off the beam and go to a line of tape on the floor. First, she practiced her perfect back walkover there. Then we went to the low beam. On the low beam, she could do the skill in her sleep. She did it over and over and over. So then we moved to the high beam with the huge crash mat underneath. Even if she fell doing the skill, she wouldn't get hurt. She went to try the skill and bailed. That is a BIG NO-NO in the gymnastics world. MOST injuries - including the most serious ones - are caused when a gymnast bails on a skill. So - remediation time. I took Nicole ALL the way back to the first days of a gymnast's career - learning to fall. She had to do crash drills over and over and over. I'm pretty sure she hated me at the time. We had her practice falling first on the floor, then on the low beam, then on the high beam with the crash pad. Over and over and over. She looked at me, frustrated as can be, and said "I DON'T GET IT! I'm a gymnast. I'm not supposed to fall. That's the whole point. Stay on the beam. If I'm supposed to be staying on the beam, why am I practicing falling?" I went over the whole spiel about how safety comes first, and one of the most important things a gymnast ever learns is how to fall. By falling correctly,

The lightbulb clicked. That's it, God, isn't it? Once I fell over and over and learned how to respond, and that You were still there and still in control, then You let me stand up to practice the next level of skills. I've fallen so many times in the past, but I kept learning something each time. Grace. Compassion. Humility. Forgiveness. Trust. Obedience. Time and time again lessons were instilled in me - not through my successes - but through my falls. I'd been working through so many issues in the past couple of years and was thinking when I woke up this morning "OK, God, what's next on the list? What are we going to do now?" The only answer (and at the time it certainly didn't seem like an actual answer) was a quote "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams."

Confidently?

Well, I know now what happens when I fall - from various heights, in various circumstances, through various means, and with various results. The fear of falling is gone. If I fall, I learn something. My faith and trust deepen as He catches me each time before I hit rock bottom. If I succeed, I move to the next step, where I'll probably fall a time or two before I get it right. But it's okay to fall there too. No matter how high the skill level is, He is still greater. He is still more than capable of catching me and teaching me a thing or two in the process. He's the perfect coach.

So now that the fear of falling is gone, I can stand up firmly and get going on the next task confidently. He had to teach me how to fall, so I could learn to stand.

My final thought on this matter today was this... "Lord, I know I'm standing now, but please know that I am still falling at Your feet in reverence, awe and worship, and acknowledging that the only way I can ever stand is by You holding me up. Help me to never forget that, Lord. Hold me in that standing position so that I can bring glory to You, because You are what it's all about. It's Your work, Your task, Your skill. Let the glory always be Yours too."  

Any woman can be a mother. It takes more than flesh and blood to be a mom.

It's that time of year again. Posts are popping up all over Facebook: "if you are proud of your mother," "if your mother was the best," "post a picture of you and your mother"... and on and on.

My heart aches for those who hurt on Mother's Day. Those who never knew their mother - whether because she died while they were very young or because she left as soon as they were born. Those whose mothers were anything but the ideal mom. Those who had mothers who abused them, tortured them, ridiculed them, or left them to die in unspeakable places. Those who had mothers who didn't know how to love unconditionally. Those who finally realized the dream of being a mother, only to never get the chance to hold their baby in their arms because of a miscarriage. Those who made the decision to abort a child and can feel the burden of that baby around their hearts as they silently make note of each "would have been" milestone. Those who were unable to care for a child they conceived and lovingly gave them away to be adopted - only to feel empty arms each year as everyone around them celebrates "mom's special day." Those who have longed for years to have a child but have been unable to conceive.

My heart also soars with thanksgiving for another group... those who became "Mom" to one of those kids who didn't have a mother to call their own - or who had a mother who didn't know how to be a mom. Those women - aunts, grandmothers, sisters, cousins, friends' mothers, camp counselors, Girl Scout leaders, church leaders, teachers, neighbors and more - who CHOSE to be a mothering figure in a child's life, by loving unconditionally, guiding with discipline, encouraging through tough times, celebrating through joyous times, and simply walking beside the child each and every day - just as if he or she was their own flesh and blood. Those who helped that child break the cycles of abuse, neglect, abandonment and despair, and instead become great moms (or dads) themselves. Those who reach out to new mothers and build them up, teaching them how to be wonderful moms and mentors to other children in need of a mom. These women are the heroes of Mother's Day and deserve so much appreciation and respect.

If you are blessed to be a mother, say thank you to God for that gift, and then take the time to also thank those who helped you become a "mom" instead of just a mother. Take time to reach out to other new mothers out there and encourage them on their path to being a great "mom". Whether you are a mother yourself or not, you can still be a "mom" to a child in your life who desperately needs that role model and friend. Trust me, those kids will forever view you as "mom" - whether you gave birth to them or not.

I would just like to publicly thank the other "moms" in MY life - you know who you are. God knows who you are too, and what you've done, and He will surely bless you abundantly for giving so much of yourselves over the years. Thank you for being there, for never giving up on me, for caring enough to discipline me when needed, for loving me no matter what, and for helping me transition from mother to "mom". It's my prayer that one day my children will come to you and say thank you too. You deserve it. More than anyone else could ever know.

Any woman can be a mother. It takes more than flesh and blood to be a mom.

Remembering Faith

Someone reminded me this week of a girl I knew many years ago. Her name was Hilary. She was a tiny bit of a girl - with a heart ten times the size of her body - at least. She had a contagious smile and a sense of humor even in the most difficult of times. For such a little girl she was so strong - both mentally and physically. Her enthusiasm for her friends' successes, her sport, her family member's activities, and just for life itself was such an inspiration. She always knew just how to put everything into perspective. She saw the world through different lenses than most people. She didn't let rejection or failure deter her from pursuing her dreams. She spent most of her years dedicating her life to her first sport - gymnastics. When it was announced that she would not be going to the Olympics as everyone thought, I vividly remember her shrugging her shoulders and smiling saying "it's okay." She simply accepted it and then set her eyes on a new goal in a new sport. She'd try for the Olympics again - this time in diving. Tragically, she never had the opportunity. Hilary died in a car accident less than a month before her 20th birthday. Despite the fact that it's been over 14 years, Hilary's name still brings smiles and fond memories to everyone who knew her. She was one of those people you could just never forget.

Earlier this week someone mentioned another name to me. It didn't ring a bell. After some more information it finally clicked that I had indeed known this person. I just didn't remember them very well. The person was nice. They never gave me any reason not to like them. They just didn't stand out in my memory.

As I was looking through an old scrapbook with pictures of Hilary, smiling and even laughing as I remembered the moments that seemed to be gone in a flash, I thought about the other person who'd been brought back to my attention this week. I started comparing what it was that made Hilary stand out, and what it was that kept me from really remembering the other person. I began to wonder about myself. Fifteen years after I'm gone, will I stand out in people's minds as someone worth remembering with smiles and laughter? Or will people say "that name doesn't ring a bell." Will they remember me with less than fond memories? What will they remember me for? What am I doing today that will outlast me?

I know some of you are thinking this is sounding really morbid, but I'm not trying to be gloomy. What is it that makes me remember Hilary so clearly? She gave. She gave her heart. Her love. Her eyes - her perspective on life. Her attention. Her laughter. Her kindness. Her determination. Her encouragement and support. Her strength. Her optimistic attitude. Where did all of those things come from? How could she give so abundantly of so many things? Easy. Her faith. Hilary knew God and lived her life for Him. No one on this earth could take away the one thing that mattered most to her. Sadly, I can't tell you whether the other person knew God or not. I don't know. I don't remember them ever mentioning Him in conversation. I certainly don't remember them doing anything that would make me immediately think "oh, they must really love Jesus."

When I'm gone, will someone say, "You know, I don't really know if she was a Christian or not?"

Will people remember me for my faith? Will my faith outlast me? Will people remember me as someone who really loved Jesus?

My prayer today was simple. "God, don't let people remember me for the things I do, for the things I say, or for the things I accomplish; but let people remember me for being someone who lived every moment of her life for You and with You. Let me be remembered as someone who was fully consumed by You."

This 9/11 Family Isn't Celebrating

September 11, 2001

8:45 AM - I am in my bedroom getting ready to go to classes at Radford. I'm listening to the radio and a Rich Mullins song came on.

8:47 AM - A male newcaster's voice interrupted the Rich Mullins song with "An airplane has hit the World Trade Center"

8:48 AM - I turn on CNN and yell out to Dad to turn on the news

8:50 AM - Dad and I start discussing that this has to be intentional - I mean, WHO could miss seeing the big tower there? I continue to get ready for class while keeping CNN on.

9:00 AM - I'm ready to head out for school but I stop to watch a few more minutes of the news.

9:03 AM - I watch as the 2nd plane hits the towers.

9:04 AM - I drop to my knees and pray. I journaled my prayer right afterwards because it was so much more than my normal everyday prayers.

From my journal dated 9/11/01, 9:11 AM (coincidence? I think not):

"God, I'm in shock over the images I'm seeing and words I'm hearing on TV. But God, I know You aren't shocked. Father, forgive the person responsible for this horrible act. I know that when You died on the cross, You died for them too. Obviously they don't know you and haven't accepted that gift. Make this event turn into something that will glorify You. May the person who did this see YOU as a result. Be with each and every person in that building as they endure this horrific ordeal. Be with each of their family members as they wait for word on their loved ones. Be with the first responders, Lord - the firefighters, EMTs, police officers and others who are rushing to the scene. Take control of this situation, Father. Give peace to everyone in NYC and those watching around the globe. Thank You Father, for Your promise that You can bring good out of every situaion. I can't see the good right now, God, but I know You will show it to me in time. Give me the strength and compassion to deal with this, and protect me if I'm sent to serve those affected. In Your name, Amen."

I end my prayer, head out the door and drive to school. On the way there I hear that a third plane has hit the Pentagon. "Oh dear God, we are under attack. This is a war. God, help us." Get to school - place is a ghost town. Classes cancelled. I drive back to Salem, but instead of going home, drove straight to my church.

All of the church staff are gathered around a small TV in the church office. I sit on the floor right in front of the TV, back against one of the desks, and keep watching. I asked our preacher "Are we still going to Romania?" He says "I don't know." We were to leave on the 21st. I said "I probably won't be here, even if you do go. I think I'm out." I knew at this point I was going to respond. I just kept waiting on the pager to go off.

10:00 AM - Image #1 that will forever be etched in my mind. I watch at 9:59 as the south tower starts to fall. I watch firefighters, police officers, politicians, EMTs, innocent civilians... all run for their lives. People with nothing but FEAR on their faces running as fast as they can... for their lives... here in America.

10:10 AM - reports of a plane crashing in Shanksville, PA as a piece of the Pentagon crumbles to the ground

10:28 AM - North tower collapses

10:30 AM - Image #2 that will FOREVER be etched in my mind: I see footage of firefighters crying, grabbing each other in big embraces. I say out loud "That's not supposed to happen." I pray again, "Oh Father, some of my friends just died. I know they did. PLEASE help me deal with the grief that is coming. PLEASE help me know what to do. PLEASE give me the words and wisdom to do my job. Please help me not to let anger take over. PLEASE God, fill me with Your peace that passes all understanding." This is the first and only time tears fell from my eyes that day.

11:09 AM - my pager goes off - my DRT is on standby - for DC

Sometime around noon I finally reach my DRT leader via phone. I tell him "I can't go to DC. I HAVE to go to NYC. My friends are buried in all of that. I HAVE to go to NYC." He says "I will see what I can do. But our team is ordered to DC."

I go home. I unpack the school bags and pack my DRT bag instead. I saw the looks of fear and dread on my parents faces. They knew I was going to go. They didn't like it, but they knew they couldn't stop me. They didn't even try to talk about it. They knew better. They knew it was like breathing to me to respond to situations just like this.

2:30 PM - My DRT leader calls me back. Our team is 3rd wave to DC. He is working on getting me in on 3rd wave with a team to NYC. He'll keep me posted.

By now I've talked to a handful of friends all over the country. All ended the calls with, "Be careful up there." Everyone knew I was going. All were scared. But none said "Don't go."

8:30 PM - I finally get news I've waited for - and it wasn't good. Chief Downey was among the missing and was presumed dead because of his location at the time of the collapses. I pray again that the anger and grief will be covered with the peace that only God can provide.

September 21, 2001 - instead of heading to Romania, I head to NYC

Fast-forward...

After spending months counseling firefighters, widows & kids of 9/11, then years running programs for the surviving kids, I marry a NYC fireman who was in the north tower as the south tower collapsed. A year later we have twin boys. Don dubs them his "new twin towers." It took us months to talk about what we both dealt with at the WTC site. We've gone to funerals and memorial services. We've spent every 9/11 morning until last year at the firehouse. Today we talk about the fact that he's sick because of 9/11. September 11th is an everyday part of our lives - whether we like it or not.

Way fast-forward...

May 2, 2011 - Don wakes me up at 6:40 AM. He says calmly, softly, quietly and with very little emotion "Osama Bin Laden is dead." My immediate response was "yeah, right." Don told me the details from the news. Then he says "people are out in the streets all over the place celebrating - from the White House to Trade Centers to the Mets game last night to the Capitol Lawn." I said "WHY are people celebrating a murder? Don't they know that this is just going to cause those terrorists to get angry and retaliate? Don't they know that by murdering him we have just opened ourselves up to even worse attacks and unmentionable torture of Americans all over the world?!  He kills a bunch of innocent people and we go and murder him - so guess what? - they come and kill more innocent people. Why are we celebrating?! The only death we should ever celebrate is Christ's - because His was a victory over ALL death."

There was no celebrating in this 9/11 household this morning. Bin Laden is directly responsible for the fact that my husband is slowly dying from 9/11 toxicity - but we weren't rejoicing that he'd been murdered! Instead - we expressed gratitude that justice had been served and went about our day. I started my quiet time with quiet thanks to God for justice being served for those who perished that day - and who are still dying today. I prayed for protection of our troops - especially those overseas in Afghanistan, Iraq and other countries filled with terrorist cells - and specifically for my nephew Ben who is a Marine serving in one of those areas right now. I prayed that those gloating about the death of a man will realize that's not what God would have us do. The images of people celebrating in the streets as if America had just won the world Super Bowl made me feel sick. Don't get me wrong - I am just as patriotic and thankful for our military as a person could possibly be. But I refuse to take joy in the murder of any man - even him. I can't tell you how many people hated me when I said "You know, Christ died for Osama Bin Laden too."  I fully believe with all of my heart that if Bin Laden had turned to God and asked for forgiveness that he'd have been forgiven. As far as any of us know, he blatantly chose to deny God. That's his choice - just as much as it is yours and mine. We make the choice to follow Him or deny Him. We face the consequences when Christ judges us. Bin Laden was a sinner. So are you and I. We all deserve to die. Christ died on that cross so that we wouldn't have to. It's a gift we have to choose to accept or deny. We should be grieved that Bin Laden denied that gift - not dancing in the streets that he died without accepting it. I refuse to think this is "the end" of this war on terror. I refuse to think "this avenges 9/11." I know I am in the minority and will lose friends over my stance on this - but I don't care. I have to stand up for what I believe is right - and cheering over the death of a lost man is not.

Ezekiel 33:11
Obadiah (the entire book)
Proverbs 24:17
Romans 12:9
Romans 13:1-7

Don't celebrate or gloat over the death. Give God praise that justice was served and pray for His will to continue to unfold. Pray for the safety of our troops who are still over there in harm's way. Pray that the cycle of violence will cease. Pray for the families of 9/11 who are still hurting and dealing with the effects of that day. Take all of your rejoicing and celebrating and turn it into something more beneficial to His kingdom.