Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Memories for a lifetime - or treasures in heaven?

Let's take a tour of the inside of my home.

When you walk in, you are in the living room. Other than the mess of toys all over the floor and baby safety gates trying to keep them contained to one area, you'll see tons of books; tons of photos; a computer; a big TV complete with a Wii and DVD/VCR and a bazillion games for the Wii, DVDs and VHS tapes (sadly - yes); scrapbooks; 6 overflowing shelves of kids games, toys, puzzles & such; 5 overflowing shelves of kids books; a file cabinet filled with miscellaneous papers/bills/etc; and the mandatory sofa, chair and rug.

If you turn right when entering the living room and then make another right, you're in the kitchen. Don remodeled the kitchen right before I moved here, and I absolutely love it. Messy as it stays with two boys dropping crumbs constantly and a baby girl intentionally throwing food everywhere, my kitchen is probably my favorite room in the house. It's by far the most modern. Anyways, in the kitchen you'll find a nice, big table given to us by Don's cousin; 4 more shelves of kids art supplies, school supplies and magazines;  cabinets filled with food, bakeware, cookware, Tuppeware, cookbooks, and on and on; and a pantry closet overflowing with dry goods, coolers, cooking supplies, travel containers, odds & ends appliances and any size Ziploc, garbage bag or roll of foil you could ever want. You'll also see a fairly new refrigerator, dishwasher, stove and microwave. Along the countertops you'll find various appliances meant to make our lives so much easier (really - that quesadilla maker has been a lifesaver!). That somewhat new refrigerator I mentioned is stuffed to the gills with all kinds of food. So is the freezer above it. Speaking of which, I think it's time to check the dates again...

Let's move on. Back through the living room, if we came in the door and turned left instead of right, we'd be in the hallway. On both sides of the hallway the walls are filled with photos of the kids. First birthdays, the boys' 2nd, 3rd & 4th birthdays, family portraits, Emma's first Christmas, the boys' first Christmas; and, well, you get the picture.

Walking down the hall, first door on the left - let's make a quick pit stop in the bathroom. If you glance in, you'll see the basics - toilet, sink & tub, along with two space saver shelves. Oh - that sink - it's huge - has 3 drawers on each side and a cabinet & long drawer underneath. Inside are dozens and dozens of assorted toiletries, some unopened, some half-used and multiples of several things. You'll find the bottom drawer stocked high with towels of assorted colors. The tub - it has jacuzzi jets - something Don insisted on when he redid the bathroom. Oh - and yes - that means we have somewhat new tile on both the floor and the walls.

Just outside of the bathroom is a hall closet that is filled with extra sheets, blankets, towels, washcloths, beach towels, two window air conditioning units that will come out from June-October, a couple of pieces of luggage, extra shower curtains, first aid supplies and any extra toiletries that didn't fit in all of the in-bathroom storage areas.

Moving on down the hallway. First door on the right - Emma's room/guest room. Two chests of drawers. A crib. A bed. A closet. A bookshelf with two shelves of baby books and toys. The chests of drawers are full of clothes in assorted sizes, more blankets than we could ever use, keepsakes, and all of the essential baby stuff - creams, first aid kit, monitors, etc. Under the crib are containers with diapers and wipes. In the closet are boxes of things that we couldn't fit anywhere else. Some is Christmas stuff, some is camping stuff, some is keepsakes and some is clothing.

Across the hall is Don & my bedroom. Nice, big queen size bed, wardrobe, dresser, two nightstands, bookshelf and desk. Everything that is supposed to hold clothing is stuffed full. So is the bookshelf. So is the desk. The closet is full of clothes and shoes. There are photos all over the place - on the walls, on shelves, etc. There are more CDs, DVDs, cassette tapes (um - yes - I still have some), records (or LPs, albums - whatever you want to call them), and VHS tapes (what?!). There are dozens of little keepsake trinkets scattered about. The desk is full of papers that "I might need if..."

Last room at the end of the hall... the boys' bedroom. Biggest bedroom but still not huge - it barely fits the two beds, dresser, chest of drawers and nightstand. Oh - and they have not one, but two skinny media towers filled with DVDs. Their dressers, like the rest of ours, are filled to the brim. So is their closet - though - to their credit - most of the stuff hanging in the closet is everybody's coats, jackets and dressy clothes. (Our closets are TINY. Don't think we have all of these huge, walk-in closets filled with stuff. We aren't THAT bad.) Underneath Daniel's bed is a Thomas the Tank Engine playtable that is supposed to roll out easily - and it did - until the boys broke two of the wheels. Underneath Patrick's bed are all of the boys' shoes, flip flops, sandals, boots, slippers, etc. I'm not kidding when I say I think they each have as many pair of shoes as I do. On top of their dressers and nightstand are assorted toys and books. On the ends of each of their beds is a huge pile of stuffed animals. On the wall are posters and framed photos.

That's it. Oh - wait - one more thing. The attic. It's holding approximately 24 tote containers of camping equipment, keepsakes, Christmas/ fall/ Easter/ Halloween decorations and other assorted stuff that we can live without right now. And I was just reminded - we also have partial use of the basement. Down there, the boys' toys have taken over and are holding the rest of the basement hostage. They also have another TV, a media center filled with VHS tapes, a DVD/VHS player, a Thomas storage container with play top, a bazillion trains and 100 miles of tracks at least, toy storage containers filled with other little toys and balls, a table & chairs, a new Lego table, and a bunch of outside toys. Don and I have a dinette cabinet down there and a Total Gym. The rest of the basement inhabitants belong to his parents - though we do use the washer & dryer that are down there too.

OUTSIDE we have a yard filled with toys - a see-saw, a slide, t-ball equipment, a playhouse, two kiddie picnic tables, a mini ride-on coaster given to us by a neighbor whose son outgrew it, a huge picnic table with 4 benches, and a storage building filled with our 4 bikes, some extra tables & chairs for the family backyard parties, BBQ stuff, a wagon for the kids to ride in, a bike trailer the kids ride in, the boys' scooters, gardening stuff, tools and car fix-it stuff (don't ask me what it's really called).

So - that's sums up pretty much all of our possessions - except our two vehicles that are both somewhat new and are both in great condition (other than the crumbs and sticky stuff inside).

Why am I telling you all of this?

Well - first let me tell you about someone else. To protect his identity I am going to change his name. We'll call him "Evan." "Evan" is 7 years old. He lives in South Dakota. He lives with his mother, his baby sister, his aunt, his other aunt and her 4 children, his other aunt and her 2 children, and his other aunt and her 2 children. That's 10 kids between the ages of 1 and 17, and 5 adult women between the ages of 19 and 43. They share a 2 bedroom home with 1 bath. When you walk in their front door you'll see a few piles of blankets in various places; a small TV and VCR that sometimes work; a kitchen with a refrigerator older than anyone living in the home; a stove that works on occasion; a table that doesn't look like it could hold the weight of 2 or 3 plates; much less 15; two chairs that have been broken and fixed with duct tape; and little stacks of clothing here and there. If you go to the bathroom you'll find an old chipped bathtub with stains from hard water; a toilet with the same hard water stains; a sink with the same stains; and a few toiletries here and there. In one of the bedrooms are more piles of blankets and more little stacks of clothes. That's it. Same in the other bedroom. There are no dressers. No beds. Only one mattress - for the matriarch of the family. No pictures on the walls. No photo albums on shelves. Not too many toys laying around - and certainly no new ones. The kids share what clothing there is - whether it fits them well or not. Same with the few toiletries and towels. Oh - and the walls of the home - they aren't insulated and don't keep out the heat OR the cold. They barely keep out the bugs.

I wish I was describing some far-off land that we'd never have to see first-hand, but I'm talking about a place HERE IN AMERICA. They are just one of thousands of households like this within our own country. As I was speaking to "Evan" to see how school was going and check in on how he was adjusting to being back in this home after having lived with his grandmother for four years until her death, I was astounded at how joyful he was, despite his circumstances. He never knows if he'll have food to eat that day. He doesn't know if he'll have shoes to wear or a coat to keep him warm when winter comes. Yet he chooses to smile and be happy, loving life and loving the people he has contact with. He never stops saying thank you for the littlest things. He is such a blessing.

God has been placing a burden on my heart for some time now. We have SO much in our lives and surround ourselves with SO many unnecessary things. We do this while others around us are struggling just to meet their basic needs and stay alive. "Evan" is just one of many kids living life day-to-day. I was given a challenge to "inventory" my belongings. I didn't list all of the things in the first several paragraphs to brag or share just how much we have. In fact, I am outright ashamed and embarrassed to be surrounded by so much "STUFF." I've been on a mission for the past year to rid myself of as much "stuff" as I can - and get the things that can help into the hands of some of those people who have nothing. The more I get rid of, the more I find I can live without, and the more I start sorting through again. Each time I send out more stuff I am reminded of something my Outward Bound instructor said during our Yosemite trip. He said "all I need in life I can carry on my back." For a week, I lived that life. Everything I needed to survive for a week I carried. It is humbling to say the least, and a learning experience I think every American should be required to have.

Recently, a thought was brought to mind in regards to all of this. Jesus instructs us to store up our treasures in heaven - to make eternal things our priority. The disciples got up, leaving everything they had, to follow Him. Could I just up and walk away from everything in my house and not look back? Furthermore, am I surrounding myself with momentos of the past and hanging on tightly to memories, instead of focusing on what's to come? I'm not saying I am going to get rid of every photo and keepsake - but really, when it comes down to it, what's really going to matter in the long-run? Are the memories of our past what's supposed to be a priority? Or should we be focusing on meeting the needs of those around us who can't meet their own needs, empowering them to stand on their own feet again, and walking towards eternity without concern to wordly things? Shouldn't we be more focused on leading others on the path to eternity than finding comfort in memories of past adventures?

This has been such a tough reality-check for me. I am SO guilty of trying to hold onto every single moment of my kids' past - and my own. Trying so hard to make those memories last a lifetime. I don't want to be so caught up in trying to preserve the past that I lose sight of the eternal treasures.

What about you? What are the things that you are holding tight to? What "stuff" is surrounding you? What could you eliminate and what could you share with those who are struggling just to survive? How could you make life a little easier for those in need, while de-cluttering your own? Where are your treasures?

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