Disaster in the Making?

We drove up the race route after dinner. When we got to the top of Mill Mountain we parked, got out, and walked around. Daniel jogged a little of the path around the top. The rest of us took a nice stroll, stopping for photos and just making conversation. Walking up the path back to the car, I felt some cramping in my calf and some nerve pain on the outsides of my ankles.

We took Lori back to her hotel, drove to my Dad’s, said goodnight to Amanda, and retreated to our rooms.

8:30 PM - I was ready to call it. Text to coach.

9:00 PM - In tears, torn between what’s safe, what keeps me running, what’s just irrational fear, and what is just emotion taking over. By this time, both of the twin coaches were trying to get me refocused, but I could not shake the nagging feeling that I really should not be doing this race tomorrow. Deciding not to run is agonizing for me. This time is especially difficult because it doesn’t just impact me. Daniel is looking forward to this attempt at the toughest road race in America. I get it, and I want to do it too (again), but right now I’m questioning the sanity of this attempt.

10:15 PM - Calmer. Knew I was going to at least show up for the race. Decided to get sleep and hope things look and feel better in the morning.

1:19 AM - Jolted awake by searing nerve pain throughout my lower body. By 1:40 AM everything from my waist down was on fire. By 2:00 it had traveled throughout my entire body. I had to get out of bed and move around. Then the numbness began in the typical places - face, tops of forearms, various spots along legs.

2:45 AM - The pain is easing, but now the tingling around my scalp tells me a migraine is not far away. I have now had just 3 hours of sleep, there are signs that the nerve pain and numbness will be at their highest levels of intensity again today, and I’m back to wondering if I should even attempt to run.

As a runner, pre-race anxiety is nothing new. As someone who has dealt with this crazy autoimmune neurological stuff for seven years, nothing I’m experiencing with the pain is new or different. But reconciling the two and figuring out if I can (or should) run through this is daunting.

Now that the worst of the pain has eased and there’s more numbness than pain, I’m going to attempt to get another hour to hour-and-a-half of sleep. I really hope the next blog update is a lot more cheerful and fun.