GREEN LIGHT!!!

My morning started off as crazy as it possibly could have. It was insane. My ortho appointment got moved from 3:30 PM to 10:30 AM. I had an IEP meeting at 8:30 that I knew was going to take a while. I needed to catch my coach up on the sudden battery of tests and things my doctor was doing, I needed to catch up with my co-teachers. But all I could do was rush to my meeting, rush out the door to the doctor, blindside my coach from the waiting room (still cringing), and rush back to work and finish my work day.

So... about the doctors. The ortho decided to do the x-ray and MRI as planned. There was no structural damage to my leg or foot. No muscle issues. No bone issues. The ortho agreed with my doctor that not running for 12 days after running 4-5 days a week likely caused the nerve flare up. It’s also likely the Achilles injury inflammed some nerves and tissues. For now, they are going to wait on the nerve conduction study. They want me to get back into my running routine. They think the peroneal nerve is slightly compressed, but that once I get going again, it will decompress itself. They ruled out road impact causing any of this. They encouraged me to keep swimming, try biking, and stretch and ice as needed. But, the ortho said he wanted me to run. He also gave me some new “rules” for running. There are several more things I have to be on the lookout for, but I can, and should run. I asked a billion questions. The ortho my doc sent me to was as awesome as she is. He took his time and answered every question. He had a very calming voice and was very thorough. He has obviously dealt with a lot of athletes. He also understood the 9/11-neurotoxin exposure chaos, and knew I was not going to be a textbook case. He carefully outlined my med plan, which includes another MRI, a potential muscle reactory exam (ouch), the potential for a nerve conduction study later down the road, and possible decompression of the nerve if it doesn’t decompress itself. By the time I left I felt my doctors had this entire mess under control and I really was okay to run. But, it’s funny, doctor says okay to run, ortho says okay to run, coach says okay to run, and then I say “I don’t want to run! It’s going to hurt!” After days (weeks) of begging to hurry up and let me run. Go figure.

I relayed all of the new rules to my coach, who had no concerns about following them, and we made a tentative training plan and discussed race plans. Then I freaked out. Race day in 12 days... there’s no way I can be ready for 6.2 miles, including 3 uphill. Coach was much more confident than me.

The plan was volleyball tonight, first run tomorrow, but volleyball got canceled, so that led to... 1 mile run today.

Gulp.

I was literally trembling. I was terrified to run. What if they were wrong? What if the Achilles tears? What if the ankle hurts? What if the nerve pain and paresthesia get worse? What if I can’t run? What if I can’t go a mile? It took 3 months to get me to 4.5 miles. There’s no way I can be ready for 6.2 in 12 days. Why should I risk it?

As I fired questions at myself, I got my running clothes on. Pulled back my hair. Laced up the sneakers. Put on my watch. Walked out the door. Took a hundred deep breaths. Hit start. Began running. My watch beeped “ahead of pace.” Slowed down. Tried to hold back and settle into comfortable, slow rhythm. Focused on watching every step and regulating my breathing. Didn’t look at watch again. Felt legs burning a little. Felt lungs burning. No pain. No numbness. Kept running. Got to turn back. Debated a walk break. Neighbor at end of road was at mailbox... turned and said, “You’re looking great. Good to see you back.” I managed a smile, a thank you, and a “have a great evening “ reply. I kept running. I kept smiling. I turned back into the neighborhood. Smiled bigger. Turned on our block. Heard my kids screaming “Mom’s running!” Heard watch beep 1 mile. Looked at watch. Burst into tears. While still smiling huge like a fool. I’m so glad I went for a run. The top and side of my ankle were tender and sore, but no pain. I ran my entire first mile back!

1.01 in 10:14

What?!?!

I thought I was running cautiously. I thought I was holding back. How was I faster?!

I went inside, grabbed a water and my giant ice pack. Plugged in my watch to upload data. Text my coach even though I knew he was busy at track. Cried again.

This is what caused the second round of happy tears...

 

I can’t stop smiling.

But... I can breathe  again.