Post-race Blues

I am having a really hard time adjusting back to work and home life. I blame it on Tahoe withdrawals. It doesn't help that people here seem to have spent all of their fall break thinking up more drama to stir in the workplace and a list of new complaints to air. I really miss my friends and the Tahoe life. I could really use an early morning stroll to Pope Beach.

The race photographers sent out links to photos from the race. As usual, seeing mine made me want to run and hide. I can't stand seeing photos of myself right now, and the timing of it this time was just too much. I did find one I loved and shared on Facebook. 

I'm trying to shift my focus from Tahoe's disappointing race to getting ready for my string of upcoming 5Ks. It's hard though, because my back is still not calming down, and I came home with an unexpected souvenir - bronchitis. I will be going through some physical therapy, and next weekend's race is now in the air. 

We saw photos from the cabin - it snowed a dusting after we left. I almost wish we'd been snowed in there. As much as I dislike snow after 10 years of NYC living - that should tell you how things are going here. I'd actually do anything to go get stuck in Tahoe for the winter right now. 

Friday night, after making it the entire school week without dying, I absolutely crashed. Between the jetlag, the emotional overload, the long week of work, the back pain, and the bronchitis, I was just done. I didn't even stay up to watch Hawaii Five-0!  I managed to get a lot of rest this weekend, in between cleaning house (how in the world 3 people managed to completely destroy it in the 5 days the other 3 of us were gone is beyond me) and laundry. 

We just got our ambassador packets from the Blue Ridge Marathon. I really do need to start thinking about moving forward from Tahoe. But, the more I think about it and the more my teammates discuss it, the more I realize I will be back in Tahoe before I know it. I am pretty sure I'll be joining the team for Rock Tahoe - even if I can't run it. 

So - before I stop whining and go - here are two important pieces of information for my runner friends: 

1 - Our team has a race entry to give away for the Blue Ridge Marathon weekend events. The entry is good for any of the distances - full, half or 10K. To win - just send an email to CareRunners@yahoo.com explaining why you think you should get that entry. The only requirement is that when you register, you sign up as a member of team CareRunners. 

2 - If you are interested in going to run in Tahoe with us in June, sign up now!! You will get the best prices available and won't risk missing out when they sell out their event for the 4th year in a row. Go to  https://raceroster.com/events/2018/11530/rock-tahoe-half-marathon to register and use code ROCKTOBER to save $40 off registration. I'm not sure if any of the CareRunners have signed up yet, but if so, join team CareRunners. If not, create team CareRunners when registering. 

Home

We're home. It was a pretty uneventful day of travel. The last leg of our flight was awesome. We had a ton of legroom and a great person sitting beside me. It definitely helped with my aching back (I sound like an old woman) and with having to spend 5 1/2 hours stuck in a plane after running a half-marathon the day before.

During the flight I was trying to write a letter to Jason and Natalie. I couldn't stop crying long enough to finish it. Maybe some things are better left unsaid. Maybe one day (June?) I'll be able to put it into words. 

My kids were thrilled to see each other. In fact, I think my girls were more excited to see the boys than they were to see me. 

I have to go to work tomorrow, but my body is not thinking that's going to happen, and my heart is still in Tahoe. It's going to be a long, tough week. That's okay, though. Maybe it will help get me refocused and back on track. 

Other than my back, I am feeling pretty rough right now. I've had a cough and feeling more tired than I thought I should. Really hoping I'm not getting sick, though I'm sure running in 22 degree weather Friday and again Sunday morning did not help that. 

I was literally home 10 minutes and ready to get back on a plane and head back to Tahoe. Since I can't do that, I'm off to get stuff together for work tomorrow. I'm not even going to try to unpack today. Before I go, just some random thoughts from this weekend:

Sometimes our paths cross for a moment, we go our separate ways without a thought, then something happens that causes them to converge later in a much deeper and more meaningful way.

It’s kind of funny to be going home with a jacket from the “other race” and having the race director of the “other race” get a medal from this race.

There is a huge difference between effective race management and being a circus ringmaster.

It’s too cold to run in Tahoe in October. June sounds much better.

You can do far more than you think you can, and often more than others tell you you can. But then, there are people who believe in you, inspire you, motivate you and encourage you to dream bigger and do the impossible. Those friends are the greatest treasure in the world and should be cherished.

If you put in the time and “trust the process” (Shane), things usually go better than anticipated. Having great coaches and trainers is awesome - but ultimately you are the one who has to do it.

I had a really awesome 5K and a really awesome 10K. I should be happy and be thinking ahead to those 5K and 10K races coming up. I could do a lot better there than I ever imagined, and now I know I can chase those sub 30 and sub 60 times. Maybe I shouldn't do half-marathons anymore, but at least now I know it's possible. Not pretty, but possible. 

Tahoe is an incredible place. It's always been a second home. Maybe I should think about making it my permanent home. 

Travel Day

We're back at the airport for our journey home. Sad to leave, but thankful for great memories, and special times with special people. I am completely fine in terms of my legs and ankles. In fact, I'm not sore at all from the run. That is really encouraging. My sinuses and throat are killing me, and there is still some nerve pain around my spine, but not nearly as bad as yesterday. I am so happy I was able to run this "impossible" race for Jason and it looks like maybe I will be coming back in June. We'll see how I feel at this time next week. 

Special Times with Special Friends

We dragged ourselves out of the car and up the stairs at Jason and Natalie's. Fatigue was setting in, but we were really looking forward to spending some time with them before we had to say goodbye. I tried to put a smile on my face and not let the pain or disappointment show. We had a great visit, and to his credit, all Jason said was that he was happy I finished and never once said anything about my time. He talked with the boys about their race and congratulated them on their second and third place finishes in their age group. Natalie called their twins up and we all introduced ourselves. The Broncos were on TV and I wanted to sit and watch just as much as the boys, so, taking pity on them, I told them to go watch the game. My boys grabbed spots on the sofa to watch too - though I wasn't sure if they were rooting for Don's team and their hometown team (Giants) or my team (Broncos). Either way, they got occupied with the game and the four of us adults had time to talk.

We remembered we'd brought fruit and fudge for them, and wanted to get a group photo. So we interrupted the boys one more time to take a picture. This has become my favorite photo by far from the entire trip. This is what this race was all about.

Traditionally, I give a finisher medal to the person who I ran the race in honor of. I realized as I was grabbing the medal from the car, that I was giving a Run Tahoe medal to the director of Rock Tahoe and that there was going to be some awkwardness due to history between the two groups. I explained to Jason that I had a medal for him, as was tradition, and apologized that it was a Run Tahoe one. Thankfully, he and Natalie both laughed and awkwardness was gone. Hopefully, when he sees the medal he thinks about the fact that he inspired someone to run a tough race, and not about the race organization the medal is from.

Much too soon, it was time to say goodnight and goodbye. We had an hour drive to our hotel in Reno, and a really early flight in the morning. There was so much more I wanted to say to Jason and Natalie, but I could not find the words and was afraid if I tried, the emotions would take over and it would just be a mess. So, leaving much unsaid, I gave them hugs and we headed out. At the door they said they'd see me in June, and I had to laugh. I had not agreed to Rock Tahoe yet, and the way I was feeling at the moment, I wasn't sure I'd ever run a mile again, much less 13. I promised them I would think about it and be in touch. They said again, "See you in June." I left with a big smile on my face, even though I was shaking my head.

It was a quiet drive to the hotel. The boys fell asleep quickly in the car. I was lost in thought and then getting quite sleepy. After a stop to fill up the gas tank of the rental car, we arrived at the hotel to find there was not a single parking spot in the lot. The hotel worker was amazing and got us quickly checked in and came out to show me a spot where I could leave the car. He made sure we got our stuff in and to our room okay. Really top-notch service. The boys immediately crashed and Amanda jumped in a shower. I tried to rearrange our bags to make sure none of the checked bags weighed too much. I was beyond exhausted but got everything done that needed to be done, set the alarm, and climbed in bed. I had a hard time falling asleep, even as tired as I was, and ended up tossing and turning all night. I could not shake the feeling that I'd failed and that this race had not turned out as well as I'd hoped.

Now, it's 3:45 AM and I'm heading to the shower. We are leaving the hotel around 4:30 to get there in time to check in for our 6 AM flights. Praying we have a smooth, uneventful day of travel.

Finished.

Not to start off with a negative - but that was, by far, the most painful, emotional, disappointing run I can ever remember.

So, I left the cabin and tried to run my intervals for mile 7. I had to double some of the walk breaks because the pain in my back was shooting up my spine. I was a bit worried, but not worried enough to stop. I managed to do mile 7 faster than any of miles 4, 5, or 6, but it was still over 2 minutes slower than my norm. I was getting frustrated, but I knew I was just around the corner from Jason's house, and though I knew he wasn't home today, the visual would give me an extra boost and remind me why I was doing this to begin with.

I passed by, thanked God again for protecting Jason and Natalie last year during the wreck and keeping them here with us, and pushed onward. Within minutes I was done. I could barely move. So, giving in, I slowed to a walk. I was frustrated, angry, disappointed and ashamed. Yes, I know, I had no reason to be. But, I am a very competitive person, and I don't like admitting defeat. I knew I was going to have a hard time getting to the finish line at this point, and by mile 9, I was in such pain I thought about calling Amanda and having her come pick me up. I couldn't imagine telling Jason I didn't finish, so I pushed thoughts of quitting aside and tried to focus on the scenery. By now, I hardly saw other runners, aside from some of the full marathoners who passed now and then. Suddenly I heard this voice beside me asking how I was doing. I wanted to cry. I turned and there was this older woman power walking her way through the miles. I picked up my pace and matched her stride. We talked and introduced ourselves. Her name was Dee and she was from Antioch. She said she was worried she may not be able to finish and that she suffered from rheumatoid arthritis. I explained about my back pain and told her why I was running and determined to finish. She said, "How about this? I will stay with you and we will finish this together. If you need to slow down, we'll slow down. If you want to go ahead and run again, you go ahead and run. But if you want, we can just walk and talk and do this race together." At this point, I did cry. I thanked her and kept pace with her. She was fast for a walker. It pushed me, but didn't make the pain any worse. I was hurting, but having her there gave me some support I never knew I needed. We had a great time. Before we knew it, we were passing mile 12. It dawned on me that I had gone further than any race I'd done in the past 4 years and that I was still moving towards the finish line. I knew at this point I'd finish, though the time wasn't going to be nearly what I'd hoped for and worked for.

Just before the finish Dee told me to go. At first I refused but at her insistence, I decided to finish the race running, no matter how badly it hurt. I told her I'd wait for her at the finish line and set out on the last 1/2 mile. I have never been in so much pain, but I was also an emotional mess. I was going to finish. It wasn't the finish I'd hoped for, but I was actually going to complete at half-marathon. I came down the last stretch before the turn into the finish line and Noreen and one of my kids were there cheering. I could barely acknowledge them. I crossed the finish line, got my medal, and turned to wait for Dee. I cheered my new friend across the finish line and gave her a big hug. I thanked her a dozen times and then turned my attention to my team. I got hugs from my boys and both Noreen and Amanda asked how I was.

As soon as I finished the video, I turned and started crying. Noreen hugged me and one of my boys came back over. I couldn't explain the tears to them. It's hard to even do so now. But, I was crying because I felt like I'd failed. I felt like I'd had a really disappointing race and that I could have done so much better. I was frustrated with the medical stuff and in pain. I was tired. I just felt horrible.

I quickly stopped the tears and took some photos. I grabbed some water and walked over to the photo area. We were told the photographer ran out of paper and no more pictures would be available on site. I turned back, said goodbye to Leilani and Joe, and gathered up everyone. We headed to the car.

My boys were saying they wanted to go to IHop. I totally did not feel like eating or being sociable. But, to IHop we went. Thank you to the sponsor who provided the IHop gift cards. Everyone headed in to IHop and I made a quick phone call from the car. I could barely speak as I told Shane I'd finished but wasn't doing great. He gave me some stretching suggestions and reminded me to hydrate and fuel. I half-ignored him (sorry Shane) and we hung up. I texted Jason a simple "I finished" and sent the same message to my trainer Matt. I couldn't say more, even if I tried. I went inside to join everyone. I couldn't find anything on the menu that didn't make me want to gag, so I just ordered some plain toast. I managed to eat one triangle and said I was going out to the car. I sprawled out across the back seats and put my legs up. I fell asleep for a few minutes and woke up when my phone pinged with a message. The rest of the gang was coming out to the car at that point, and Amanda agreed to drive back to the cabin.

When we got back to the cabin we had to start cleaning and packing. I was having a really difficult time moving and was still in a lot of pain. I sat on the bed folding and sorting clothes into suitcases and eventually got my stuff mostly packed. I headed to the boys' room to do the same. At some point I took a shower and cleaned the bathroom. I had a text from Jason and we arranged to get together after we'd finished cleaning and packing and they'd finished dinner. I was not looking forward to talking about the race, but I was really looking forward to spending more time with him and Natalie. Noreen was heading out, wanting to get home before dark, so we said our goodbyes. We finished up the cabin laundry and clean-up, loaded the car and sent a text to let Jason and Natalie know we were done. They said come on over, so we're locking up and bidding the cabin farewell until next time. I love this place and can't wait to be back. If Chad and Kristi ever decide to sell this place, I'm going to be first in line with an offer. Since that's not happening anytime soon, guess I should get moving so we have some time with Jason and Natalie before we have to drive back to Reno.

Race Day Shout-outs

These are the transcripts of the video posts made during the run. If you missed them, head over to Facebook. At some point in time this week they will be posted to the CareRunners page. 

**update** - Because of poor internet service in the area, only a couple of videos posted. 

Starting Line

I cannot believe it’s race day! The butterflies are HUGE – but I’m really excited to see what the next 13.1 miles bring. Before I start, I wanted to share a few things.

First, I wouldn’t be here without Shane, Jared, DJ, and the rest of the CareRunners team who believed in me far more than I believed in myself, and pushed me beyond every imaginable excuse I could come up with. You guys are the best team ever and I am SO thankful for each and every one of you. Thank you for never letting me stay down for long, for encouraging me every step of the way, and for being the most amazing friends I could ever ask for.

Second, I would never have begun this journey without the inspiration I found in Jason and Natalie over the past 13 months. I talked with Jason a couple of weeks ago, and shared my thoughts about it with him – so I won’t go into detail here. None of you need to see me crying before the race ever starts anyways! But, really, I just want to say thank you Jason and Natalie – for coming alongside me this past month and supporting what I’m attempting to do. Jason – thank you for taking the time to encourage me. Your words meant the world to me and I won’t ever forget them. Next time I try this crazy feat, I hope you are ready to run with me. 

Third, everyone, please don’t forget that while I’m running in honor of Jason today – and for so many special friends – I’m also running for two amazing charities. Wears Valley Ranch in Sevierville, Tennessee and the Family Crisis Center of Great Bend, Kansas are out there making a huge difference in the lives of many hurting people. If you can help – please visit our CareRunners fundraising page at youcaring.com/carerunners. You can also visit our website at CareRunners.com for links and more information. A huge shout out to those who’ve already stepped up with sponsorships and donations. Thank you! We appreciate your continued support!

Finally – for every single one of you who prayed me to this start line – thank you. I love my prayer warriors and appreciate every single one of you so much. With God’s grace and all of you lifting my feet – we’re going to cross that finish line today and prove that nothing is impossible. Let’s do this!!

Mile 1 – 

Morgan Eckles. I love you, dear friend and I have been praying for you nonstop. This first mile was for you – because I know you are still in that first mile of your journey through lymphoma and the thought of those many miles ahead is often daunting. We’ve been there, and we know how terrifying and exhausting it can be. Just keep your eyes focused on Him and take it one step at a time. You have an amazing cloud of witnesses around you, ready to help bear the burden and lighten the load. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for anything you might need. We are here for you, we love you, and we are ready to fight this battle with you. You are not alone and God is going to use this chapter of your life in big and mighty ways. Can’t wait to see you and give you a big hug and catch up on things. Until then – I’ll keep praying with ever step I take. I promised you I was going to run for you – and I will keep that promise until the day you can run with me. Jay, Army, Aggie, Lulu and Abe – our door is open anytime and if you need anything – all you have to do is ask. Love you all bunches!

Mile 2 – 

Emma Deets – my heart aches for you but I also rejoice in knowing that God has a plan for you and for your family. Things are hard right now and I know it has to be frustrating to just want your normalcy back. I know it’s difficult dealing with the TBI, but if anyone can push through and come out stronger, it’ll be you. You are an amazing young lady and you have a very bright future ahead of you. Keep your eyes on Him and let His peace that passes understanding surround you and carry you through these months of recovery. Priscilla, Bobby, Nathan and Anders – you are also in our prayers and we are here to help you through this journey.

Olivia Newsome - Wow - you have inspired the entire Concord Christian School community. You have battled bravely and we are so happy that the port is out and you are doing better. We will continue praying for clear scans and healing. God’s going to use your story in mighty ways. Keep shining brightly.

Mile 3 – Hey Monkey Gang! I miss you all SO MUCH! I could not let this opportunity pass to let you know how much I appreciate you, how thankful I am for the blessing of your friendship, and how much each of you mean to me. Shelley – you are AMAZING. You are the perfect mother for Madison. Your strength and resilience are just phenomenal. I don’t know how you do it and how you make it look so easy. You are just a rock and I know it’s not as easy as you make it appear – I know you struggle and have days when you just want to give in. I admire your tenacity and am in constant prayer for you and your family. Barbara, I know you live every single day fighting the same battle continuously with your MS. Yet you are always the first one offering any assistance you can give. You have the biggest heart and the quickest wit – and I am SO thankful for the many years of friendship and laughter we’ve shared – even when you beat me at WordFeud. J Nancy – I will never, ever forget that first email from you, thanking me for what I shared with RC and thanking him for reading it on air despite my objections. Our friendship began in such a crazy, unique way – but there isn’t a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for it. You have pushed on through some really hard times and continue to reach for the stars. You are such an inspiration to me and I’m so thankful God put you in the right place at the right time to hear the right words you needed at that moment. You have a purpose here and I’m so glad you’re still here to fulfill whatever that special purpose is. You’re amazing. Don’t ever forget that. All the rest of you crazy monkeys – keep the corny jokes and pumpkin everything coming this way and never forget the fun times we had on Thursday nights!  Love you!

Mile 4 - 

Kristan May (& Jey) – Kristan – it’s been years since you were just a young, vibrant 7^th grade girl in my Sunday School class and way too long since we’ve spent some time  hanging out. I have absolutely loved watching you grow up and am so very proud of you and how you have stood strong through this cancer battle with Jey. Hang in there sweetheart. You have an army of people praying for you and Jey. I love you bunches and am here if you need anything at all. This 4^th mile was for you. It’s not over yet. Keep trusting. Keep seeking Him. Keep believing. God’s got this. He’s got YOU and Jey held securely in His arms. Rest there in Him.

Mile 5 – 

Diane, Crystal, Karen and others – and those others living with “unseen” medical conditions – I know a lot of people don’t “get” what we face on a daily basis. Please know that you are NOT alone. This 5^th mile was for you to let you know that you are seen, you are heard, you are prayed for and you are loved. Keep fighting and keep holding your chin up facing our Father. One day He’ll take all of this hurt and pain away and we’ll be celebrating that freedom together. Until then, we’ll keep walking this path together and praying each other through.  Diane – you are the most amazing best friend anyone could wish for. I have been so incredibly blessed these past 23 years. You get knocked down and you just come up swinging and ready to fight back. You know how to make the sweetest lemonade out of all the lemons thrown your way and you have taught me so much over the years. Your humor has gotten us both through some really bad times and your hugs and impromptu visits and care packages always bring a smile and sunshine no matter how dark the day. Thank you for all you do to make this world a brighter place for everyone – including me. Amanda – you are just as awesome of a best friend & I don’t know what I’d have done these past 30 years without you by my side. Thanks for always being there no matter what. You are the sister I always wished for & I’m so grateful for you.

Mile 6 - 

Heidi Temple, Kendall Cannon, Candy Beck – ladies – you have fought some major monsters and won. You absolutely floor me with your strength, your bravery, your peace and calm in the storms and your unfailing faith. I can’t even put into words how much your lives and your stories have impacted me. Thank you – for everything. This 7^th golden mile was for you. I only hope and pray to be as bright a light for others as you have been for me and others along the way. Keep shining brightly. You’re beautiful!

Mile 7 - 

Jared & Megan Anderson, Amanda Coffey, Landon & Amy Shewmake, Laura Rose, President Barry, and all the other foster & adoptive families out there – There are some special parents in this world. And then there are all of you. You are just amazing – with so much love abounding - not just for your own children – but for every child who crosses your path. You take in the ones the world has given up on and turn them into these amazing little people with hearts on fire for God. You help them repair those broken hearts and give them a hope beyond hope. You take the abandoned or forgotten and give them a loving family. That is one of the most noble and wonderful gifts you could ever give a lost child. I am so  thankful for people like you who are out there making an eternity of difference in the life of a child. This 8^th mile was in honor of all of you.

Mile 8 – 

TJ, Ben, Terry, Rudy – guys – THANK YOU. Each of you have served this country in various capacities, and though you may have moved on from  your military service, you still find ways to serve. I am so grateful for your service and am honored to have run mile 8 for you. I wish I was able to run hundreds of miles in your honor – because you certainly deserve it. Thank you – from all of us at CareRunners. We appreciate you and your service to this great nation.

Mile 9 – 

Mile 9 was for the widows and children from FDNY Ladder 9, and for all the surviving members of Ladder 9 who served at Ground Zero in the aftermath of September 11th. And really – not just my Ladder 9 friends – but also those from Engine 33, Ladder 3, Engine 14, Rescue 1, Ladder 6, Ladder 8, the 10/10 house, FDNY EMS – the list goes on and on. So many of you continue to struggle with illnesses, cancers and more from your time on the pile. You are not forgotten. A special shout out and thank you to John Feal for going out there and helping us battle this on the legal front and with the World Trade Center medical monitoring program. We appreciate your efforts on our behalf. Jack, Carlos, Diane, Janet, Lisa, and all of the rest of my St Paul’s family - this mile was for you too. I miss you, thank you and am praying for each of you. No matter how many years go by, I’ll always remember my NY family who stood by me during that year and continued to walk with me as we all moved on, forever united by our time together in the middle of a disaster, and bonded forever by a loving friendship that blossomed in the midst of tragedy. We’ve seen some of the worst of times together, but I’m so thankful that we’re able to share in the best of times together now. Thanks for getting me through the rough patches and getting me back on course towards healing.

Mile 10 – 

Deon and Katie – and the rest of the Slow Bear family on Pine Ridge – this mile was for you. It breaks my heart that I’m not able to do more for you or nearly as much as I’d like to. I know life is an everyday struggle for survival and it seems each month there’s a new tragedy or major setback. It’s not an easy life for you – but I love that you just push on with your head held high and a determination to never give up. Deon – I just love you buddy and have loved watching you grow up over the past several years. I know you miss your grandmother so much. I do too. I long to talk to her again and hear her words of wisdom and encouragement. She loved you so much and I know she would be so proud of you and the young man you’ve become. Keep striving to be even better and to rise above the circumstances you face. You have so much to give this world, especially your Lakota people on Pine Ridge, and I know you can do whatever you set out to do. I’ll be here cheering you on and praying you through. Never, ever give up. 

Mile 11 – 

Let’s see if I can get through this one without crying. Dad – mile 11 was for you. I know raising your grandchildren as your own was never in your plans. I know you sacrificed so much for us. You worked hard to give us everything you could, even if it meant you had to go without. I know life wasn’t easy and there was a lot of negativity for many years. I will never forget how you balanced taking Mom to her chemo and treatments at the same time you were taking Roger to his, and all this just after losing Grandaddy Moon. You were my hero taking on all of that. You’re still my hero and I wanted to let you know how much I love you and how much I appreciate you and all that you did for me growing up. I’m sorry I haven’t said thank you enough in the past. I’ll try to do better. This 11^th mile was yours. Thank you. I love you. Hopefully I will see you soon.

Mile 12 – 

Noreen – Oh wow! God knew what He was doing when He made us teammates and friends!! Who knew a few years ago at Tink that we’d end up still running together and just doing life together? You have faced so many things in the past few years and still come out here with a huge smile and full of excitement, ready to totally rock the race weekend. You add such joy to this team and are such a valuable part of what makes this team so awesome. I’m so happy we are here again this year running this race together – fighting through to the finish as teammates and friends. Thanks for being here today and this weekend! Michelle, Omar, Cheryl, DJ, Rudy, Jared, Shane and the rest of the team - we missed you but hope you will be able to join us next time.

Mile 13 – 

For my SPED Students – NEVER let someone tell you that you can’t do something – as someone once told me – you can do anything you want to do as long as you want it bad enough and are willing to work for it. You are capable of far more than you ever imagined – don’t limit yourself by society’s norms. Things may take you longer or be more difficult for you, but that’s no excuse to not try and give it all you have to give. I promised you that I was going to finish this race and show you that you CAN do those things people tell you are impossible. Go run your race and cross your finish line! You CAN and you WILL!! Believe!

Finish Line –

No way. We did it! Thank you for being a part of this journey and for following along at home today. Thanks for all of the texts, messages and emails. I will get back to you soon – hopefully on my flight home if not before. I appreciate all of you so much.

Please don’t forget that today was about so much more than me running & walking 13.1 miles. There are people out there walking much more difficult journeys every day. There are organizations out there helping these people along the way. Do your part to help. Reach out to neighbors and friends and see what you can do to make the journey a bit easier. If you can support Wears Valley Ranch, the Family Crisis Center of Great Bend, or any of the other amazing service organizations our CareRunners team races for, please visit our website at CareRunners.com or visit our fundraising page at youcaring.com/carerunners. Thank you for those who have already given, and those heading there now to donate. You are helping these organizations continue serving people in your community who are just like the ones I shared with you here today. Every bit helps and your contribution is greatly appreciated.

CareRunners friends and teammates – thank you for making this journey possible. Shane – I’m sorry for ever telling you I can’t and for doubting you so many times, and for fussing so much about the training plan. You were right. Yes, I just admitted that. Thank you for pushing me to try and to go beyond my comfort zone. DJ- looking forward to doing this again in Roanoke in April with you and Stacey there! Thank you so much for being such a huge encouragement and source of peace. You were such a big part of this weekend, even if you couldn’t be here with us. 

Jason – there are no words. I think if I even tried to say anything to you right now I’d just end up crying. So - just – thank you. So much. What I wanted to say but couldn’t at the moment -  You and Natalie went out of your way to spend time with us and be a part of this weekend. We appreciate it so much.  I am forever grateful for having the opportunity to hang out, catch up, share some laughs,  and say thank you in person for inspiring me and encouraging me this weekend. You guys are the best.  I know I haven’t given you an answer yet about June - but I promise I’m thinking about it. There’s so much more I want to say, but words are escaping me.

Finally – and most importantly - there was not a single step taken today that wasn’t by the grace of God. I didn’t do the impossible. I couldn’t have done this on my own power. He gave me the strength, the desire, the determination, the supporters, the ability, and the help that I needed to do what I could do to bring Him glory and reflect His light to those around me. I hope and pray that you have seen Him today far more than you’ve seen me, and that if you don’t know Him, that you’ll seek Him out. I’d love to talk with you about Him and share with you just how great His love for you is. Kari – thanks for being in Knoxville at the perfect time to remind me that I am never alone and that He came before me here and was with me every step of the way. Teammates and friends – thank you for helping me be a light and glow in the dark! Now let’s go celebrate!! 

First half of the race

Go figure, when I get in line for the bathroom for the final time before the race begins, the bagpiper starts his tune and begins leading runners down the road to the starting line. The dozen people in front of me and I groaned collectively. We decided to wait it out, as we had 25 minutes left before the official start time. The line dragged as minutes flew by. With just 10 minutes left until start I finally got my turn. I rushed out and down the road at a good jog, with several others who'd taken the time for that last chance to go. As I was running, I was trying to reach Noreen, who'd already headed to the starting line. We finally connected and had just moments until the race began. We were about 100 people back from the line and when the gun went off, we were ready.

We headed out at a slow pace, but heading down the steep grade and the adrenaline of the race with hundreds of runners around us kept us moving at a good clip. I had a slight wardrobe malfunction and had to readjust the skirt tie before I could keep going. Once I got into the groove, I didn't want to stop. First mile flew by in 9:47. I realized I was going fast for me, especially for the first of thirteen miles, but I also knew that the only chance I had of finishing in less than 3 hours was if I hit those first 4 downhill miles as hard as I could. I did slow my pace a tiny bit to get back on track for me.

We ran into Kashi-guy - well, technically he ran into Noreen - but we said a quick hi and grabbed a couple of photos and kept going. I had wanted to take a Facebook live video at each mile, but the internet wasn't cooperating, and I didn't want to stop. I took a really brief walk break at mile two, which I'd reached in 11:56, and then kept going. By this point, Noreen had gone on ahead. I knew that she was too speedy to hang back with my turtle self for the race, but I was thankful to have had her as long as she'd stayed.

I have never run a 5K with no walk breaks. We turned off the road onto the bike path and the steepness gave way to gentle rolls. Mile 3 - 12:00. Right on target for me. I began slowing down. Way down. But - 33:42 - I had just raced my fastest 5K ever!! I was so excited. This was the first time I finished a 5K with just 2 super-short breaks. I was loving how this was feeling.  But, between miles 3 and 4 I also noticed I was having some pain in my back. I thought it was just from the impact of running down such a steep grade and decided to walk a minute, but then keep going. While I walked, I tried again to upload a video. It just kept shutting off on me. I gave up on it and thought I'd do one from the house when I got there. Back to running I went. I was so close to our cabin. By now I was on familiar ground, as I'd just run through here Friday morning. I was loving the environment - such incredibly nice runners, super supporters on the sidelines encouraging everyone - not just their loved ones, sweet kids and teens at aid stations calling us by our names, and just absolutely gorgeous surroundings. There were several people who spoke to me as they passed or as I passed them. I don't remember ever feeling so comfortable or at home during a race. I didn't meet a single snarky runner out there. Not one!! I was hurting but I was happy. My back kept getting worse, but I knew I could make it to the cabin. I was determined not to walk anymore until the second half of the half. Yeah. That didn't happen. Mile 4, after walking a bit and slowing down to use my intervals, was 14:37. Mile 5 was 15:04 and mile 6 was 14:20. It was too painful running for too long. But I was not going to stop.

I finally reached the cabin and the 10K mark at 1:17.59. My second fastest 10K time ever! It didn't come without a cost though. I was barely able to walk, much less run. I was hoping by taking some times at the house, getting a snack, getting some hydration, taking a potty break, and stretching, I'd be able to keep going. I knew I was going to have to slow down my pace, or I'd never make it to the finish line. I made a quick phone call to check in with Shane and he immediately said to slow down, that I was pushing too hard and that I needed to walk and not make my back worse. I told him I wanted to at least try running to Jason's house - another mile and a half into the course. I assured him I'd take it slower and easier, but I had to keep going. At this point, he was fairly certain that I'd be better off stopping, but he knew better than to try to convince me of this.

I just finished up a longer-than-planned break at the cabin (a whole 15 minutes! - that's going to hurt my finish time) and I'm heading back out. My watch went into pause at the cabin, so my time on my watch will show my actual running time, but the official time is going to be a lot longer than that. I'm positive at this point it won't be under 3 hours, and I'm going to be surprised if it's less than 3 1/2 hours the way I'm feeling right now.

More at the finish!

Starting Line

I can't believe we're at the start. 30 minutes until race begins. Butterflies have overtaken my insides. I tried posting a video to Facebook but things are just too spotty with the internet. Will post the text version of what I was trying to say later.

We took the traditional pictures at Inspiration Point. It's cold, but not as bad as it was down by the water. If you stand in the sun, it's actually okay to start shedding some layers.

Time to head to the bathroom one last time (didn't we do that already) and head down the road to the start. I'm shaking - not sure if it's from cold, fear or anticipation. But SO ready to get this party started!!

Beat the Busses

We all headed down to Lakeside Beach. The boys and Michelle would be starting and finishing their races there. Amanda would be there all day to hand out medals. Since the 5K and 10K started so much earlier than our race, Noreen and I stuck around to watch the 10K kick off and then headed to the busses. It was freezing at the beach. We saw Leilani unloading her car and got right to work. It helped us warm up a little as we set all of the medals out and set up the results boards. It was still way too cold - but at least we were occupied and not just standing around thinking about it.

We ran into Colin and his baby boy. We'd met them yesterday when I was answering a stroller question for him. Nice guy. Cutest kid ever. Such a sweet, happy baby. Colin was doing the same thing Noreen and I were - catch the start of the 10K then book it up the hill to the transit center to catch a bus.

Soon it was time for the 10K to start. We cheered for Michelle and waved as she took off. 

We realized the 5K was starting in the opposite direction than Noreen and I needed to head, so we took a quick picture of the boys and then headed up to the transit center. 

We made it to the hotel and no one was out at the transit center yet, so we went in to try to warm up for a moment and go to the bathroom one last time. We headed out shortly to catch a bus. We are finally on the bus, headed to the start. My nerves are starting to catch up with me. I'm really worried, though I know I have no need to be. I feel great today. It's cold, but should be 10 degrees warmer by the time we start running. If I can get through the first couple of miles, I should be good to go. Praying my body holds up for 13.1 miles.