So, I left the cabin and tried to run my intervals for mile 7. I had to double some of the walk breaks because the pain in my back was shooting up my spine. I was a bit worried, but not worried enough to stop. I managed to do mile 7 faster than any of miles 4, 5, or 6, but it was still over 2 minutes slower than my norm. I was getting frustrated, but I knew I was just around the corner from Jason's house, and though I knew he wasn't home today, the visual would give me an extra boost and remind me why I was doing this to begin with.
I passed by, thanked God again for protecting Jason and Natalie last year during the wreck and keeping them here with us, and pushed onward. Within minutes I was done. I could barely move. So, giving in, I slowed to a walk. I was frustrated, angry, disappointed and ashamed. Yes, I know, I had no reason to be. But, I am a very competitive person, and I don't like admitting defeat. I knew I was going to have a hard time getting to the finish line at this point, and by mile 9, I was in such pain I thought about calling Amanda and having her come pick me up. I couldn't imagine telling Jason I didn't finish, so I pushed thoughts of quitting aside and tried to focus on the scenery. By now, I hardly saw other runners, aside from some of the full marathoners who passed now and then. Suddenly I heard this voice beside me asking how I was doing. I wanted to cry. I turned and there was this older woman power walking her way through the miles. I picked up my pace and matched her stride. We talked and introduced ourselves. Her name was Dee and she was from Antioch. She said she was worried she may not be able to finish and that she suffered from rheumatoid arthritis. I explained about my back pain and told her why I was running and determined to finish. She said, "How about this? I will stay with you and we will finish this together. If you need to slow down, we'll slow down. If you want to go ahead and run again, you go ahead and run. But if you want, we can just walk and talk and do this race together." At this point, I did cry. I thanked her and kept pace with her. She was fast for a walker. It pushed me, but didn't make the pain any worse. I was hurting, but having her there gave me some support I never knew I needed. We had a great time. Before we knew it, we were passing mile 12. It dawned on me that I had gone further than any race I'd done in the past 4 years and that I was still moving towards the finish line. I knew at this point I'd finish, though the time wasn't going to be nearly what I'd hoped for and worked for.
Just before the finish Dee told me to go. At first I refused but at her insistence, I decided to finish the race running, no matter how badly it hurt. I told her I'd wait for her at the finish line and set out on the last 1/2 mile. I have never been in so much pain, but I was also an emotional mess. I was going to finish. It wasn't the finish I'd hoped for, but I was actually going to complete at half-marathon. I came down the last stretch before the turn into the finish line and Noreen and one of my kids were there cheering. I could barely acknowledge them. I crossed the finish line, got my medal, and turned to wait for Dee. I cheered my new friend across the finish line and gave her a big hug. I thanked her a dozen times and then turned my attention to my team. I got hugs from my boys and both Noreen and Amanda asked how I was.
As soon as I finished the video, I turned and started crying. Noreen hugged me and one of my boys came back over. I couldn't explain the tears to them. It's hard to even do so now. But, I was crying because I felt like I'd failed. I felt like I'd had a really disappointing race and that I could have done so much better. I was frustrated with the medical stuff and in pain. I was tired. I just felt horrible.
I quickly stopped the tears and took some photos. I grabbed some water and walked over to the photo area. We were told the photographer ran out of paper and no more pictures would be available on site. I turned back, said goodbye to Leilani and Joe, and gathered up everyone. We headed to the car.
When we got back to the cabin we had to start cleaning and packing. I was having a really difficult time moving and was still in a lot of pain. I sat on the bed folding and sorting clothes into suitcases and eventually got my stuff mostly packed. I headed to the boys' room to do the same. At some point I took a shower and cleaned the bathroom. I had a text from Jason and we arranged to get together after we'd finished cleaning and packing and they'd finished dinner. I was not looking forward to talking about the race, but I was really looking forward to spending more time with him and Natalie. Noreen was heading out, wanting to get home before dark, so we said our goodbyes. We finished up the cabin laundry and clean-up, loaded the car and sent a text to let Jason and Natalie know we were done. They said come on over, so we're locking up and bidding the cabin farewell until next time. I love this place and can't wait to be back. If Chad and Kristi ever decide to sell this place, I'm going to be first in line with an offer. Since that's not happening anytime soon, guess I should get moving so we have some time with Jason and Natalie before we have to drive back to Reno.
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